


Attempt #543: Never Fall in Love with Eleanor Shellstrop

by MegaChoirQueer



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Eleanor Shellstrop, Canon Compliant, Chidi and Eleanor are actually really good friends, Don't say I didn't warn you, F/M, Good Place Reboot, I didn't ignore their friendship, I might write a feel-good sequel to this later, I'll tag it when I post it, Michael tells Eleanor they're soulmates, Please Forgive me, Sad Ending, Slow Burn, There will be smut but not for a while, This is somewhere in the beginning of Season 2, but who knows
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:02:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22316767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaChoirQueer/pseuds/MegaChoirQueer
Summary: In reboot #543, Michael tries a new method of torturing Eleanor; telling her that he, the creator of the Good Place neighborhood, is her soulmate.But will what started out as an inventive way to get back at his biggest rival turn into something greater than he could have predicted?
Relationships: Chidi Anagonye/Real Eleanor Shellstrop | Vicky, Michael (The Good Place)/Eleanor Shellstrop, Past Chidi Anagonye/Eleanor Shellstrop, Tahani Al-Jamil/Jianyu Li | Jason Mendoza
Comments: 66
Kudos: 162





	1. The Beginning

“Hi, Eleanor. C’mon in.”

This reboot had started like so many others with Eleanor Shellstrop sitting on the sofa, wearing one of her classic striped sweaters, and opening her eyes to the bright green words: “Welcome! Everything is fine!”

But after 500+ attempts, Michael realized he had to adjust the story a little bit.

Obviously, pairing Eleanor with Chidi too soon would lead to them discovering they were in fact in the Bad Place. And even though it was starting to become rather predictable, sometimes even comical, Michael decided he needed to try something completely different if he actually wanted to be a success.

Part of him wondered if “succeeding” was the real reason behind giving this new project a shot, or if that was just the story he told himself. If he were to be honest with himself, some of it was sheer curiosity. Even in the silliest reboots, he would usually learn something new about what worked and what didn’t, and he had himself a few good laughs. Even if this attempt were to fail, he could just see what happens. Nothing he couldn’t chalk up to just one of 500+ reboots.

“Well, how are you doing?” Michael asked politely.

“Good, good,” Eleanor answered. “Just one quick question: Who are you and where am I?”

“Ah yes. These are typical questions. Well, there’s no easy way to say this… but you are dead. Your life on Earth has ended and you have moved on into the afterlife.” Michael delivered this speech so many times he could say it in his sleep… not that he needed to sleep, but there were a few occasions where he tried it out. Only about 30 reboots ago, actually, is the most recent time he attempted to sleep. He had what the humans referred to as a “dream” – something his kind was not familiar with on a personal level. Then again, he was always a little bit different from the rest of the demonic beings. That dream had inspired this new idea, although he wouldn’t dare tell a soul about it, not even Janet. At first, he dismissed it as nonsense, but after mulling over it during 30 or so reboots, he finally figured it was time to give it a whirl and wrote up a whole new storyline.

“Oh. Cool. So like… who was right? Like what’s going on here? Is this… ya know?” Eleanor began to gesture towards the ceiling and then to the floor, attempting to figure out her place in the afterlife, like she had done hundreds of times before.

“Oh, Eleanor,” the demon answered, “there’s a lot more to the afterlife than what you were taught on Earth, but overall, there is a good place and a bad place.”

Michael tried to enjoy to the look of utter anticipation that always came upon the girl’s face before finishing his remark. Nearly every time, her eyes would widen a little and her posture would straighten, a mixture of fear and curiosity painted across her.

“You, of course, are in the Good Place!” As good as he was with lies, there were times he struggled to keep his composure when he said that first lie. There was one occasion, attempt #177, where he _did_ in fact laugh as he said it, and Eleanor called him out on it, like the snarky bench he thought she was.

He witnessed her exhale a sigh of relief and trade her anxious expression for a relaxed smile. Even though he was supposed to enjoy her looks of fear, and he did, he couldn’t help but adore the real, genuine smiles she had from time to time.

“Is there anything else I can answer for you, Eleanor?”

“Well, who are you? Are you like… ya know… God? Or some sort of angel?”

“Aw I’m flattered,” he said with a little blush on his cheeks. He had trained himself to blush on command just for this experiment. “I guess I should have introduced myself. I’m Michael. I’m not God, not even close. Again, this isn’t the usual Christian heaven-or-hell idea you’re used to. I’m not exactly an angel, but I am an immortal, highly intelligent ethereal being. I am an architect, and I designed every part of the neighborhood you and 323 other humans will spend the rest of your eternities in.”

“Nice… so what’s next?” Eleanor asked eagerly.

“Well, there is something I should tell you before I give you a tour of our neighborhood… oh I’m not sure I should tell you just yet…” Michael made sure to use that fake insecurity as one of his biggest manipulation tactics with Eleanor, like in the first reboot, when he pretended to have a panic attack over the failing neighborhood. It always made her feel bad, and forced her to act kind towards him, causing her to suffer a little bit more.

“Tell me what?”

“Well,” he started. This was the big speech he’d been rehearsing in the mirror for hours. He knew this time was the time, and he was ready to deliver.

“See, our algorithms and calculations are without fail here. They’re created and regulated by thousands of celestial beings who operate far above my level. Every measurement of theirs is precise and accurate, without fail, and we take these things very seriously. And no matter how odd the calculations may seem, there’s no doubting them. This goes for everything, from determining which place you go to, to the style of the home you’ll live in, to the type of people you’ll be spending time with here… and that includes soul mates. But I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about this…”

Eleanor seemed dumbfounded until her anger announced itself. “Is it that stupid ex boyfriend I had, Jake? Because he was HOT, like FORKING HOT, but I don’t think… Hey, how come I can’t say ‘fork’?”

Even though Michael knew about all of Eleanor’s life, including every ex she’s ever had, it was tempting to hear her complaining yet again. But he forced himself to get the point across with a deadpan expression in his face.

“Eleanor, our system says that… I’m your soulmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It's been a while since I've written any fanfiction. But after watching The Good Place, and seeing there aren't nearly enough Michael/Eleanor fics, I decided to craft this myself. I already have several chapters written, so I plan to post them when I can. Thank you again & please let me know what you think! :D


	2. The Setup

On the way to her odd and colorful house that Eleanor palpably despised every time, Michael made extra sure not to initiate any conversation and leave the space as awkward for her as possible.

For a while, it was working. They both avoided eye contact and kept quite a distance from each other. Michael tried to keep the walk slow, but Eleanor would walk hastily in a direction she wasn’t sure of. It was even a bit awkward for _him_ , just walking in complete silence after delivering such a risky scenario onto his favorite guinea pig.

Yet, he should have known better than to expect Eleanor to keep quiet. She interjected halfway through their journey, “So… don’t take this the wrong way. You’ve definitely got a dapper authoritarian vibe going on and I’m not _not_ into it, but why would you be soul mates with a human? Do you even have a soul?”

Michael was slightly taken aback by her round-about compliment. He knew that she was generally attracted to authority figures and that telling her she was meant to be with the “boss” of the neighborhood would stir up a great deal of confusion and self-defeating behaviors, yet he didn’t expect her to be so blunt about what she found attractive about him.

“Well I don’t have a soul, per se. I do, however, have an essence. A life energy, if you will, that holds my memories, consciousness, ideas, and so on. It’s not too different from a human soul in terms of its function. It just has some mechanical differences,” he elaborated.

“And how did they manage to place us together? What’s the special formula?” She laughed with a casual roll of her eyes. He could feel her skepticism leak through her chuckles, so he knew he had to give a satisfying answer.

“A combination of things, really. Interests, values, similarities, and complimentary attributes. Everything from your favorite musician to whether you pour the milk or the cereal first factors into creating a perfect match. All of those things tell who in a neighborhood would be truly happiest together.” With her home in front of them now, he put a hand on her shoulder and looked into her sapphire eyes, “But regardless of how the accountants determined this, it is an honor to be paired with someone as incredible as you.”

He exhaled before getting to his favorite part – the real torture-starter. With an illuminating grin and a sigh of serenity, he continued, “Eleanor Shellstrop - a human rights lawyer who saved hundreds of innocent people from death row… One of the most selfless people I’ve ever seen a record of… However strange the algorithm is, I’m delighted that I’ve been chosen to get to know you for all eternity.”

Ah yes. This was the moment. Eleanor was clearly trying her best to maintain her composure, but he had been through this conversation so many times that he could predict every small crease on her face that would shift when he would announce that she was supposedly some sort of incredible person on earth. He noticed how her pupils would change in size and how her pores would get just a tad bit larger, to make her sweat. He could see her fear sink into her bones and he felt invigorated. Even after every failure, these moments gave him the illusion that he was winning in their little rivalry that only he knew about.

She looked at the ground as to avoid to any sort of eye contact, but Michael couldn’t look away from her. He sought to savor every second of this reboot – whether it lasted 10 minutes or 10 years.

However, if he just stood there in silence, it would be too suspicious. He chose to break the tension and speak, “Here we are! Home sweet home! Well, your home, at least.”

He looked over at her disappointed face, eyebrows raised to the top of her head in shock. Quickly afterward, she shifted her look into a fake expression of excitement. Of course, Michael knew she was lying, but he loved to see her try. There were times her lies were so convincing, and even when he knew the obvious truth about the situation, part of himself was tempted to believe her.

He took her through a tour of the home, explaining how each clown painting in her home was a replication from her collection on earth, and how the Icelandic Primitive styled home was tailored just for her. “I know you loved these so much. Tell me, which one of these paintings is your favorite, Eleanor?” he asked with his devilish grin, seeking to illicit some sort of reaction from the human girl.

“Oh, you know, how could I choose just one!?” Eleanor responded in that tangibly fake over-eager tone she used when confronted with the need to lie about her happiness. “I just love them all so much! That’s me! World’s biggest.. uh… clown lover!” She expanded her arms and forced herself to grin, trying to fool Michael.

With Chidi, Tahani, and Jason, seeing their anxieties play out in front of them time and time again got a bit repetitive and even frustrating. But something about the convoluted and dramatic ways Eleanor attempted to avoid getting caught were comical and charming in each reboot. Seeing as she was the one who ruined the experiment nearly every time (except for the one time Jason figured it out… that one was a real bummer), he had built up some level of rivalry against her, and as much as it vexed him, it also gave him a sense of invigoration he’d never felt torturing any other human. It was a complex puzzle that he would get so close to solving until something came along and undid it, but even when he had to start from scratch again, it made him all the more determined.

Michael gave a dramatic sigh and said, “Well, I suppose I should let you become acquainted with your new home and all. I have a few more residents to greet, and I don’t want it to seem like there is any favoritism happening here…” He paused and continued with a confused expression, “Unless you want me to stay longer? I want to make sure you’re as happy as you can be.”

Eleanor looked completely dumbfounded. After a few moments, she managed to reply, “Yeah, man. Do what you gotta do! I mean, we have all of eternity to get to know each other, right? No rush, my guy.”

“Oh, thank you for understanding, Eleanor. I recognize ‘ _this_ ’,” he gestured, motioning his hand between himself and the human woman, “is an odd and unexpected situation. To be honest with you, I’m not quite sure what to do next. This type of relationship isn’t typically part of an architect’s existence, but I trust that we can figure it out together.”

In that moment, he felt an odd sense of comfort and relief that he did not anticipate. The soothing feeling arose almost as if he meant the words he spoke. Well, he wasn’t technically lying. He mapped out what this “story” would be like, but Eleanor has always proven to be unpredictable. He had developed his persona enough to make good improvisational judgements about his relationships with the four humans, and he had prepared some go-to answers for questions he believed Eleanor would ask in this new type of relational torture. Yet, he didn’t know what was going to come next. He wasn’t sure how to keep up pretending to be Eleanor’s soulmate and how long Eleanor would believe it until she realized it was a sham. This was not a typical situation for an architect to be in – Good Place or Bad Place.

Demons didn’t have a moral code that forbade them from torturing humans by using their relationships against them. However, in Michael’s opinion, most demons were not bright enough to understand the complexity involved in human relationships. They saw brute force as the cruelest form of punishment. However, Michael knew the most painful experiences for humans were those of guilt, humiliation, and betrayal. No amount of butt spiders or lava monsters could harm someone as much as they themselves feeling alone and ashamed. This knowledge was what prompted the idea for the original experiment: humans set up to torture themselves psychologically.

Thankfully, Michael had observed Eleanor’s every insecurity for a couple hundred years now. He knew what made her annoyed, what made her aroused, and what made her ashamed.

And even still, in his mission to torture her, he couldn’t help but feel alleviated by confessing to her that _he didn’t know what he was doing_.

Looking at Eleanor, he realized her eyes were looking towards the floor, probably in guilt and fear. Even after studying human facial expressions for thousands and thousands of years, there were still moments when he couldn’t be sure of all the nuances. Some emotions looked so much alike, especially when they’re trying to be repressed.

Eleanor exhaled and said, “Yeah. We’ll figure it out dude. Don’t sweat it.”

Michael smiled genuinely, even though the woman before him had no idea what was truly going on. Though, he remembered what he had to do next.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and looked intently into her eyes once more, “I just want you to know you can trust me with anything, Eleanor.”

She audibly swallowed her own spit and blushed, looking down at the ground again. She quickly looked back up, though, and answered him with a half-grin, “Thank you, Michael.”

“I suppose I should get going then. Please come by the orientation meeting in a few hours, though! The video will explain a lot more of this afterlife stuff. In the meantime, if you need anything, you can ask Janet.”

“Janet?” Eleanor asked curiously.

“Janet!” Michael called.

Right next to him, Janet appeared. “Hello!”

Eleanor shuffled back in her shock. “Uh.. hi?”

Michael explained, “Janet is a virtual informational database of pretty much everything. She can answer any question you may have and can supply you with anything you need.”

“Oh, cool,” Eleanor said, with an actual smile on her face, her eyes open with curiosity and anticipation.

“Alright then, I must go,” Michael said, awkwardly shuffling out of the door. “See you later alligator!” he shouted back to her.

“Yeah… later!”

She shut the door and that concluded Michael’s first scene to torture Eleanor in this new reboot. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, after realizing how absurd it sounded. There was no way she would believe it for more than a week, he thought. _A month at_ best.

Yet, he reminded himself that he learned something new about the humans in every reboot, and even if it was a catastrophic failure, he was sure to find out something new. And who knew? Maybe he’d get a good laugh out of it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I know I said I'd post more chapters later, but I got too excited. I literally live off of validation so please leave a kudos and a comment. You will make my day 10/10 guarantee. Thank you for reading :)


	3. The First Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! Thank you for all the support on this! This chapter is a little different, written more from Eleanor's POV. I think I might have them swap POV in each chapter, but I'm not exactly sure yet. But this chapter felt like it had to be written in Eleanor's panicked frenzy. Enjoy!

Eleanor shut the door behind her in such haste, as if to separate herself from the craziness that just unfolded in front of her.

In the span of an hour, she’d learned that she was

a.) dead

b.) in heaven

c.) in heaven, BY ACCIDENT

d.) stuck in a weird clown house

and

e.) supposed to be soulmates with freaking GOD.  
  


Okay, maybe he wasn’t _God_ , but close enough. An angel, perhaps? Whatever he was, he was not a human. And she was supposed to be his _soulmate_.

But to top it off, she had no one to tell how lost she felt here in the Good Place. She had no one to confess to, because the one person who she’s supposed to trust, is the forking boss!

“Fork! Fork! Fork!” she exclaimed to herself, pacing in a line. “Why the fork can’t I even say fork? What kind of bullshirt is this? Gahh!”

She was supposed to be in paradise and yet she wanted to do nothing more than curl in a ball and cry. Her house was some sort of hipster nightmare, adorned with disturbing images of clowns in every corner of her vision. But even worse, she was completely and utterly alone, even in heaven.

Wait – the robot lady! What was her name? “Jay-Z! Janis Joplin! Robot lady c’mon!” No one appeared before her. She should really start paying attention to what people say to her now that her whole life – err, afterlife – is about to be a lie.

Completely unsure of what to do next, she did one of the things she was best at: turning on the tv and plopping on the couch. Once she did, a “welcome” channel appeared and reminded the viewers of…

“Janet!”

_*Bing*_

“Hello, I’m Janet!”

“Janet, you know like… everything, right?” Eleanor inquired.

“Yes I do!” Janet responded in a cheery tone.

Eleanor wanted to be smart about this. She had no idea who could listen in on her, especially since her soulmate created this entire world. She wanted to make sure anything that she could say to Janet wouldn’t automatically incriminate her. Asking the wrong question could get her into a lot of trouble, right from the start.

“Is Michael like… is he omnipotent? Does he know like everything that happens?”

Janet answered, “No, Michael is not omnipotent. While he has complete knowledge of your life on earth, he is not able to access your current thoughts or feelings.”

“And with you… can anyone access my search history or is this like an incognito mode thing?” Eleanor needed to make sure she was careful with what she said until she knew it was safe to be herself again.

“Anything you ask of me is completely confidential and not even Michael has access to our conversations. Now, what pornography would you like to see?”

“Porn? What no… well, remind me later about that. But I need to know – does this system really say I am soulmates with Michael?”

Eleanor was fearful to know the answer. If it didn’t, then either this is a sick joke or someone royally messed up and Michael is going to figure it out sooner or later. Yet if the system was right, then the only problem is her. They have her entire life wrong. A human rights lawyer? The only time she advocated for human rights was when she defended her _human right_ to have access to food and trashy magazines by stealing from the supermarket.

Janet replied near instantly, “According to the documents I have on file for this neighborhood’s design, there is one that mentions your name, Eleanor Shellstrop, and Michael being soul mates. Any other information is confidential, according to policy.”

That could mean a lot of things. Maybe they have the wrong Eleanor Shellstrop? But who else would even have that name?

She started to worry about what would happen if she got caught as not being a “good person”. She asked, “Janet – if there is a Good Place, does that mean there is a Bad Place?” Michael had told her there was, but she needed to hear it again.

“Yes, there is a Bad Place,” she promptly answered.

Her heart sank. Of course she knew what answer to expect. Why would Michael be lying about that? She had just secretly hoped it’d been a joke of sorts, even though every logical part of her mind knew that wasn’t the case.

“What’s it like?” she asked. Perhaps the Bad Place wasn’t so bad, right? Maybe it’s just a place where you’re forced to watch the same 10 reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or eat unseasoned tacos without onion and cilantro. She could live with that.

“Ooh, again. That is one of the few things I am forbidden to share with you. The only thing I am allowed to do is play a brief audio clip of what is currently happening there right now.” She waved her index finger and all of a sudden, Eleanor’s ears were flooded with shrieks of horror, chainsaws grinding, knives cutting, lightning striking and cries for help.

 _Not good_.

Even if this soulmate situation with the architect was confusing, at least it wasn’t whatever those noises were. There was something to feel good about.

She would just have to pretend to be soulmates with him until she figured out a better plan. After all, that was a classic Shellstrop move: pretending to be in love with a man so you get what you want until something better comes along. This was second nature to her by now.

Besides, Michael was actually not bad looking, and that dapper suit did favors for him. Even in his aging appearance, she found herself oddly attracted to him; Eleanor always had a soft spot for the Silver Fox type.

She was just worried because unlike the Arizona dirtbags she was used to wooing, this was some immortal powerful being who designs entire lands in the afterlife. Even if he wasn’t omnipotent, he knew a lot and had access to a lot of information. And as an angelic type of being, she imagined that he would have a high ethical and moral code to follow. He’s likely required to be honest about any and all errors he comes across. She didn’t know that for sure, but that’s what all the goody-two-shoes snitches did at every job she’d ever had. And this wasn’t just selling fake medicine to old people. He was working for forking heaven! _Ugh ethical codes are the worst_ , she thought to herself.

She’d not only have to seduce him; she’d have to _act good_. That was far more challenging than wearing a flattering top and giving out fake compliments.

However, even in the midst of her worries, she chose to push away the problem and go see what this orientation business was about. Maybe it’d help her figure out what the fork was really going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for all of your support so far! It's been so fun to get back into fanfic after taking such a long break. Your comments & kudos are really keeping me motivated to see this project through. See ya next chapter!


	4. The Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! yinz are the absolute sweetest! Thank you for all the comments and kudos. I'm glad to hear that this story is exciting you all! I hope you enjoy this chapter. This one is short but sweet. :)

Michael showed them the same video they’d seen every time, with minimal tweaks, such as the “feel-good” sponsor. This reboot, the video was “sponsored” by baby kangaroos nestled into their mother’s pouch.

During the part of the video where Michael addresses the soulmate proposition, he made sure to take a good look at Eleanor in the audience. Her legs were crossed in her chair and she shifted uncomfortably, looking around to see if anyone else seemed to be with their soulmate already. After noticing that no one had yet, she looked back down at her hands and then back up at the video.

Michael felt accomplished that he made her feel so lost and confused this early into the reboot, but he worried it wouldn’t last long. And he knew the demons were skeptical about this approach, especially Vicky.

Even though he couldn’t stand her, she did make some reasonable points. By claiming to be Eleanor’s soulmate from the get-go, it will likely cause her to doubt the validity of the Good Place. However, if he tried an alternate plan involving this idea where he waited to confess he was her soulmate, it would make her lose all trust in him immediately. That is why he decided to give her the information immediately and let her settle into it.

He wanted the greatest chance at success in this reboot. He didn’t want to waste time with things that wouldn’t work at tricking the four humans into believing they were really in The Good Place, while still making them feel as miserable as possible. He wanted to make this experiment a successful one, and hopefully impress Shawn enough to earn his senior staff pin.

Still, Vicky had earlier made some preposterous assumptions that were very untrue and impractical that he couldn’t quit thinking about.

He remembered the conversation vividly…

* * *

_“So what I’m thinking about is.. wait for it! Telling Eleanor that I’m her soulmate! Eh? What do you think?”_

_“Ha, really?” Vicky scoffed. “Just how would that work?”_

_“Okay, get this: Eleanor has a lot of problems with feeling like she doesn’t belong. By telling her that I am her soulmate, she has no one to confess to, and will continue to bottle up her stress. I get her to trust me, maybe even develop some of those human feelings, ya know love and all that jazz. She’ll feel so confused and discouraged. It’ll be great.”_

_“I’m not seeing how that’s any more torturous than anything else we’ve tried.”_

_“Consider not just her anxiety about getting caught – but also her feeling as if no one could ever truly love her. Thinking that everyone else has a real soulmate, but she is stuck with the architect that is more worried about trying to solve the neighborhood problems than spending time with her. She’ll feel so jealous of everyone around her. She’s going to feel so insignificant! It’ll be great!”_

_“I guess. But why go through all of this? It seems like a lot of extra work.” Vicky had asked._

_“Uh..” Michael didn’t have a clear answer. Part of it was because he realized he needed to try something new. Setting her up with any of the other humans caused her to make the revelation about it being the Bad Place too soon and most of the other demons weren’t as skilled in emotional manipulation as he was. They’d rather pull out toenails and smash noses with sledgehammers than play with people’s feelings. Another part was simply for the fun of it. Michael was amused with Eleanor, and how she reacted to new situations. He wanted to see how she would react to this, he just couldn't figure out why that mattered so much to him.  
_

_“Oh, I see why.”_

_“See? Yeah,” Michael answered, not really knowing what made Vicky change her mind. Perhaps she would give him a good reason that he could latch onto, seeing as he didn’t quite have the language to explain why he wanted to try this so badly._

_“Yeah - you want to bone Eleanor,” she responded nonchalantly._

_Michael coughed in surprise. “What?”_

_“You have a thing for Eleanor. We get it.”_

_“What? Ha! No way. She’s such a gross_ human _. No that’s not… that’s not what this is about.”_

_“Look, I don’t really care. If you wanna have at her, go for it. Kiss her, fuck her, tell her you love her, whatever. Just give me a better role this time. Ooh, can I be Chidi’s soulmate? I’m thinking of being this French poet that’s really bad, but he won’t have the heart to tell her that her poems are bad and it’ll eat him alive. I’ve got a whole backstory and everything.”_

* * *

Michael shuttered at the memory. Obviously, Vicky was very out-of-line for saying such a crazy thing. That could _never_ be the case.

He was a _professional_. Even hell spawn had some level of self-respect to not create any conflicts of interest. Fraternizing with the victims was always looked down upon by Bad Place employees, for there was no room for empathy or guilt towards causing the subjects any suffering. Besides, Michael was a powerful 6000-ft tall fire squid at the heart of it all. What would cause him to become interested in a _human being_?

Then again, as he looked out into the crowd of faces, he couldn’t lie and say that Eleanor’s didn’t catch his eye every time. Something about the way her posture was both charismatic and vulnerable ignited him with an indescribable passion. But surely it was the passion of seeing her miserable, yes? Seeing his newest arch nemesis all flustered and confused was enjoyable solely for knowing that he was making her feel bad, and not because of the way her cheeks blushed when she was trying to hide something.

No. He wanted nothing more than to break her heart over and over and over again, not mend it. He was a _demon_ , after all.

At least that was what he told himself as he gazed out at her wide, curious eyes and beautiful blonde hair swaying lightly in the calm breeze.

Yeah, this was about the torture _for sure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this short chapter y'all! Please keep posted for the chapters to come. I have several written already, but I'm trying to build suspense and not post everything at once lmao. If you enjoyed it, please leave me a kudos and/or a comment! :D see ya next chapter


	5. The Orientation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! This chapter is also kind of short, from Eleanor's POV again. It was fun to introduce our well-known and beloved characters from Eleanor's limited perspective. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Eleanor struggled as much as she could to focus on the video projected in front of the crowd, but in her peripheral vision, she couldn’t help but notice Michael’s eyes fixed on her.

Instead of trying to figure out exactly how these good and bad “points” were accumulated, she was deliberating whether she felt threatened or flattered by Michael’s intense gaze. Confessing it only inside of her mind, she felt both. There was an air of familiarity with the way he looked at her, as if she had already known him deeply and intimately, as if there was some deeper, profound history she was unaware of. It was a similar feeling she’d get after drunkenly confessing her feelings for an friend and seeing them, later, sober, in a public place, with them trying to initiate some sort of awkward conversation, and her avoiding them at all costs. Except she had no idea who Michael really was, and instead of avoiding him, she was equally tempted to figure out where this energy was coming from. His knowing stare freaked her out nearly as much as it turned her on, but she’d always said scared was the best way to be horny.

It was possible that the only reason she felt scared was because if Michael actually cared to explore their “soulmate” connection, he would find out how awful she is, and leave like everyone else she’d ever known.

And then her anxieties presented themselves on the materialized screen in front of her. In the video, Michael told all of the residents that their actual, real soulmate shared this neighborhood with them. That one of the other residents was their one true love and they would shortly get to know each other.

Eleanor tried her best to avoid collapsing in on herself. She looked around her, to see if there were any other couples together yet. Behind her, she noticed a tan, well-dressed woman looking around as well. Underneath her floppy sun hat, her black hair elegantly flowed down to her hips, and the bottom of her fancy blue gown shuffled softly in the light wind.

 _Why couldn’t I have been soulmates with this hottie?_ Eleanor asked herself.

Two seats to her left, she noticed a dark man in a sweater vest and big glasses smile eagerly at this news on the video.

_Wow. What a nerd! He’s so happy to get a soulmate - probably because he’s never even had a girlfriend. HA!_

From what she could tell between the beautiful woman behind her, the fervent geek to her left, and everyone else, no one else seemed to know who their soul mate was. She was the only one who knew who she was damned to spend the rest of her existence with, just like she was probably the only one who didn’t belong here.

After the video shortly ended with a final picture of adorable baby kangaroos, Michael spoke to the crowd, “Before we wrap this thing up, are there any questions or comments I could address for your first day here in The Good Place?”

A woman on the end of the row to Eleanor’s right rose and spoke to the crowd, “Hello! My name is Antoinette!” Turning back to Michael she continued, “I was just wondering when we would be able to meet our soulmates? I know we’re all so excited to get to know the incredible people we’re destined to be with!”

“Ah yes,” he responded, caught-off-guard. “Well, I intend to introduce all of you individually, to give you that personalized touch! Each and every one of your soulmate relationships is uniquely beautiful and approved by the universe!”

At least this gave Eleanor some peace. There was no need for anyone to know she and Michael were soulmates yet. She didn’t even know if she was allowed to tell anyone yet. At least by Michael spending all day with other couples, that’s time she can spend on her own, figuring out the best way to fudge this new relationship.

But then, the beautiful lady with the fancy dress behind Eleanor also arose. “Hello, Tahani,” she said, placing her hand on her chest and introducing herself with a curtsy. “Perhaps to mark such a momentous occasion I could arrange for a welcoming party, complete with an hour dedicated to announcing these extraordinary relationships!”

 _Oh fork_.

Michael responded, “Oh, that’s not necessary… unless that’s what everyone would prefer?” He had a look on his face that Eleanor couldn’t decipher. It was as if he were trying to communicate a message, but she couldn’t tell what it was.

Eventually some folks from the crowd started to cheer in approval, and eventually everyone but Eleanor was rooting for this alternative plan. She was torn between joining in with the crowd to avoid suspicion or stick to her stubborn attitude and physically demonstrating her disproval.

On the one hand, if she remained obstinate, it would raise more attention to her, from the other goody-two-shoes living here and from Michael, her supposed angel destiny-boyfriend. It would make him question her happiness, and then probably leading him to question her place in the neighborhood - and she didn’t want to end up in that horror show that Janet let her hear.

On the other, something in her couldn’t bring herself to advocate for her own self-destruction. Perhaps with alcohol and unsafe sex, she could self-destruct. But not embarrassing herself in front all of heaven and then probably getting caught from being in the spotlight too long. It just didn’t seem right to cheer on her own damnation.

Michael looked to her, like he was asking for permission of some sort. Eleanor felt like there was a certain way she was _supposed to_ answer, but she didn’t know what it was. Michael did have a plan, he said. But approving the popular opinion makes her look better. She gave him a shrug followed by a small, confused nod, hoping he could figure something from that.

Michael replied to her behavior, addressing the entire mass, “Alright! Spectacular!” He threw his hands in the air in excitement. “If that is what you all would like, then that is what we will do! Tahani, it’s Tahani, right? That sounds fantastic! Would you like to host the party at your mansion?” He looked nervous, but Eleanor couldn’t quite figure out why.

“Oh, Michael,” she said in her chirpy British accent, “it would be my _honor_.”

Eleanor whispered under her breath, _“Ah fork_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please leave a kudos and/or comment! Every comment pushes me to work harder on this project. Please stay tuned. Great things are coming to this story, so make sure to keep tabs! Thanks again! :D


	6. The Dispute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should have waited another day to post this, but I get so excited. I just got finished with chapter 7 and its a lengthy one so I figured I'd post this one now, and the next one either tomorrow or Friday. Saturday at the latest. I'm just way too excited about this story to wait to publish stuff lol.
> 
> I really hope that you like this chapter. It's from Michael's POV again and it's a lot more reflective than the previous chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, quick note: It wasn't until after I wrote this that I realized Jason figured it out in reboot 600 something. For the sake of this story, just pretend he figured it out in an earlier reboot. Thanks!

“Dammit, Vicky!”

“What?”

Michael slammed the door to his office as his one of his greatest tormentors followed him. He had called her into his office as soon as all of the humans left the orientation and went to their homes. He thought maybe Eleanor would try to socialize with him after the orientation, but she just walked back to her odd little house. On the bright side, this gave him time to chastise Vicky.

“We never agreed on asking any questions like that! Now the whole plan is messed up!” Michael said with a clear frustration in his voice. His statement was partially true. He intended for Tahani to have her normal welcoming party, where Eleanor would be more focused on hearing how much better everyone else is than her, say something mean, and create a chaos sequence in the morning. With this, he doubted Eleanor would even come. And if she did, who knew what would happen next? He realized he didn’t think this experiment through as well as he thought he had.

“Michael, you need to understand. I am an artist. The thrill of the theatre calls me to act with passion and invigoration! I was simply playing the role of Antoinette, a lonely French girl, who can’t wait to find her one true love, and” Vicky spoke, her hands in dramatics, until Michael cut her off.

“Antoinette? You really went all out with this French thing,” Michael casually commented, until remembering his anger again. “No, enough about that. The point is this is a risky move. It could endanger the experiment!”

“Endanger the experiment?” Vicky retorted sarcastically. “Like you haven’t sat Eleanor down and told her she was in hell before?”

He felt his upper arms tighten in exasperation because he knew she was right. After 200 years of trying this same old experiment over and over, he didn’t have anything to lose by letting Vicky get creative. There were just two issues he could think of and neither he could admit.

The first issue was his ego. He wanted to have complete control over this project. He’d worked for hundreds of years as an apprentice until Shawn finally gave him the thumbs down to start this experiment (in The Bad Place, thumbs down was a gesture of approval). Now that he finally had the freedom to explore whatever tortures he could inflict on the four humans, he wanted it to go his own way. It bothered him enough that Eleanor was unpredictable and caused so many disturbances in the project. But now Vicky? His subordinate? At least Eleanor was a human with no knowledge of what’s going on. Vicky, however, knew everything, and was supposed to follow along with the protocol. It made him feel so insignificant that her choices could foil his hard work.

The second issue was… well, it was complicated. Michael didn’t know how to explain these feelings he was having towards Eleanor. Of course, he loathed her. Time after time after time, _she_ was the one to figure everything out.

Tahani was never concerned with the greater implications of feeling miserable in heaven, as that was most of her life on earth. Surrounded by luxury and decadence, her mansion was not too different from the extravagant homes she lived in while alive. Having her every material wish satiated on command by Michael or Janet was nothing that her former obscene amount of wealth couldn’t buy her. Constantly hosting parties and gatherings for strangers was her specialty, and even when _not_ provoked, as seen earlier in the day, she would choose to do such things here in the fake Good Place. Yet after all of the glamour and attention and prestige, she was still left feeling lonely, empty, and inadequate. This feeling of misery was normal for her, and thus she never had reason to suspect she wasn’t actually in heaven.

Jason, with the exception of one time, was too impulsive and careless to give thought to whether this was the real Good Place. To this day, Michael still wonders where he went wrong in the one reboot that Jason _did_ figure it out, as he was the last person who he would suspect to make _any_ revelation at all, but especially the revelation of their actual standing in the afterlife. Jason has always been too preoccupied with the moment, not taking time to look at the larger picture. Even in his moments of confusion and irritation, Jason never thought to reflect on how his feelings came to be, just that he felt them and wanted to feel better. This failure to consider his surroundings was what caused nearly all of his problems on earth, and that was the exact weakness that lead to his death in the safe.

And Chidi, in all of his brilliance and doubt, had never once made the realization. It was ironic, Michael thought, that someone who’s ultimate mission was to learn the truths of the universe had never once unraveled the truth of his own fate. He spent his entire life on a thirty-thousand page thesis about the principles of the universe and didn’t even come close to understanding how his own indecisiveness caused unhappiness to everyone he interacted with, including himself. He didn’t see how his relentless search for moral purity was his greatest moral flaw. On the contraire, he believed his philosophical quest was a remarkable virtue, and this never made him question whether or not he truly belonged in the Good Place. Even compared to Tahani, who sometimes had to convince herself she was rightfully in paradise, Chidi never once had the suspicion that he belonged anywhere but heaven, due to his own buried moral superiority complex. He saw any suffering he had in this experiment as an error in the system, especially when Eleanor presented her unfortunate situation to him. He never considered that his own anxieties were being used against him, and thus he was never capable of proposing that they were really in the Bad Place.

There was only one person who gave it away each and every single time.

Eleanor Shellstrop.

Eleanor, the clever scoundrel she was, always saw past the simulated servile nature of the neighborhood. That sneaky rat always managed to piece everything together by asking the right questions at the right times. It wasn’t hard to see why she was the one who destroyed this experiment time and time again. Every part of her life was full of deception and lies, from her childhood, to her toxic relationships, to her career as a fraudulent telemarketer. From the youngest age, she had to figure out when her safety was at risk and how to meet her needs on her own, even if it was maladaptive in the long run. Everything from lying about her age to get a job as an emancipated minor to blaming the drycleaners for ripping her roommate’s dress forged a lifestyle built on distrust and dishonesty. Her survival on earth was dependent on being able to read a room and make her move accordingly. And even now, when she didn’t know she was playing a game of chess, she was still methodically moving her pieces, as if by some force of nature. She was always on the lookout for what was about to hurt her next and how she could bend the situation to her favor, and while it was one of the transgressions that compelled her to live a life of selfishness and suffering, it was also the very skill that enlightened her to the corruption around her in the afterlife.

Furthermore, even when clouded with deceit and impiety, Eleanor was bold. You could feel her confidence booming when she entered a room; her effervescent aura was palpable in all nine dimensions that Michael could perceive. Her twisted candor had a fascinating color to it that he’d never seen before. She was unshakable in her efforts, even if her motivations stemmed largely from self-preservation. Every single time she’d figured out the truth about the bad place, she never approached Michael in fear. Rather, she was courageous, even when knowing about being rebooted. She had a spark of hope in her, fueled by her own bravery and will, that never gave up. No matter what kind of insecurities Michael threw her way, she remained firm in her belief that she would overcome.

In the beginning, her optimism was laughable, and he could vividly remember the first time she figured it out, with Shawn and himself snickering at the girl who thought she had won. Eleanor so daringly yelling in Michael’s face, “Ya Basi-”, only to reopen her eyes to the same cruel world that she couldn’t remember.

After a while, her confidence was maddening. It made Michael wonder what was wrong with his design. The plan was to have them torture each other for _a thousand years_ and he could hardly manage a week! Sometimes, Eleanor would get distracted with her friendship with Jason, or a romantic connection with Chidi that would last for months on end, and it would give Michael a false sense of accomplishment. But eventually, that pride would shatter, as Eleanor would eventually utter those infuriating final words:

_“Holy forking shirtballs, this is the Bad Place.”_

Quickly, the experiment transformed from “How can I best make four humans torture themselves?” to “How can I outsmart Eleanor Shellstrop?”. It was a cat-and-mouse game where the mouse would always forget which traps the cat would lay out but would still get away.

However, in getting to know more about her, he developed a fondness towards her that he couldn’t explain. Playing this back-and-forth with her was the most fun he had ever had in his life. It gave him something to look forward to everyday. Instead of being bored operating a penis-flattening machine in the traditional Bad Place, Michael had the opportunity to compete against his subject in the most inventive way possible. And, truthfully, he never wanted it to end. There was something so invigorating about the chase of it all. Failure after failure, Michael was still motivated to try again and again. Not because of Tahani, or Jason, or Chidi. No, it was only because of Eleanor. Her undying valor ignited a similar fire within himself and he wanted to stay on fire forever.

He was fascinated with her and he wanted to learn every single thing about her. He would read her file over and over again, and he would place her in new situations just to see how she would react. He became obsessed with every bit of information he could gather about her, as if it were a prized collection. New reboots created new data, and he would analyze it over and over, to the point where it became less about discovering how to torment her, and more about discovering for discovery’s sake. He had no words to rationalize why he wanted to learn about her, only that it filled him with excitement and delight.

Moreover, although he couldn’t put his finger on why, he knew this was something he had to keep to himself. His goal was supposed to be torture. That was what this was about. Not discovery, not fascination, but delivering anguish. Curiosity and attachment were for humans, not immortal fire squids.

So even when he felt captivated by Eleanor’s devilish wit and magnetic charm, he forced himself to speak with reason and precision.

After several moments of pondering everything, Michael responded with a sudden burst of confidence, “My past failures are not indicative of how I plan to enact this strategy. I want to see where this scenario will lead in terms of difficulty for the four humans. I’ve already given you the privilege and responsibility of torturing Chidi, so now I would appreciate if you would cooperate with the rest of the plan. Am I clear?”

Vicky’s eyes widened in surprise at Michael’s unexpected conviction. “Yes,” she answered timidly, disoriented from the sudden difference of power.

“Alright, so here’s the plan for tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doesn't Michael struggling with his feelings for Eleanor make you feel all warm inside? Idk maybe I'm just messed up. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I have a LOT of fun stuff planned for this story - especially for next chapter - so be sure to keep tabs! I'm going to try to reply to comments as soon as I can, too, so please please please feel free to leave a comment. It will literally make my day you have no idea. thank you all so much. see you next chapter!


	7. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! Thank you to everyone reading this for your support! I love seeing all the compliments. It really boosts my ego lmao
> 
> I put a LOT of hard work and thought into this chapter. It was so much fun to write something with a little more action. I think I'm better at the more reflective chapters, but I feel pretty happy about the way this turned out. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did :D

As it would turn out, Tahani’s colossal chateau, where this extravagant welcoming event was taking place, was right next door to Eleanor’s little circus den. It seemed so odd that she could walk only a couple of minutes from her creepy cottage to such an ornate palace. As Eleanor gazed upon the marble columns holding three stories of elegance and sophistication, she couldn’t help but be filled with jealousy.

_Why couldn’t my fake memories be full of big-ash mansions, like this chick? Why’d they have to confuse me with some clown-horny weirdo?_

Eleanor was wearing a tight black dress that barely approached her knees. She found it in one of her dressers; at least they provided her with clothing she could pull off.

She walked through the open doors to the Brit’s palace, and it was stunning. There were chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and classical paintings trimmed with gold frames. Even though it wasn’t her personal style, Eleanor was impressed at the level of lavishness the home contained.

Originally, she didn’t even want to come – she had no idea what would happen. She hadn’t seen Michael since the orientation, and even then she didn’t bother to talk to him. If he needed her, he knew where to find her, she figured. She knew that he had no choice but to come to the event since the entire neighborhood would be present and he was the only one who knew which soulmates belonged to who. Supposedly Janet knew as well, but she didn’t seem quite as personable as Michael.

And since Michael would be announcing the soulmate pairings, she was curious and terrified of how he would present their situation to the neighborhood.

Eleanor was not one to care what people thought of her. She made many, many enemies during her life on Earth, ranging from the “save the environment” guy at the grocery store to her own mother.

She did, however, care about fitting in enough as to not get caught. Sort of like the time she faked her way into a country club by dressing fancy and acting posh so that she could get rich old men to buy her food. Except instead of cocktail shrimp, the thing she was trying to obtain was her position in the Good Place and avoid getting sent to be tortured in hell forever.

This memory made her question the integrity of everyone else in this supposed paradise. _Maybe they’re not all as good as they seem. I bet at least a few of them have some dirt and I bet I can figure it out_ , she thought as she looked around at the other formally clad guests.

She waltzed out of the grand foyer into the formal living room, where there were many residents mingling amongst each other.

She decided to approach one of the first people she met, “Hi! The name is Eleanor. How’s it going?”

The man responded, “Hello, Eleanor. I’m Bambadjan. It’s a pleasure. Can’t complain after all. This place is great!”

She softly and disingenuously giggled out of politeness. “Ha, yes. It is marvelous, isn’t it? Say, what great accomplishments do you think lead you to arrive here?”

“Well, after graduating from law school, I dedicated the first half of my life to fighting for women’s rights in Yemen and the second half fighting for gay rights in Saudi Arabia. How about you?”

Eleanor blinked rapidly, trying to keep her composure. “Yeah, I was a lawyer too. But I focused on…” Eleanor couldn’t even remember the bullshirt story Michael had told her about her life. How was she supposed to tell this guy what she did on Earth? She had to do what she did so well on Earth: give answers so vague that they can’t count as lies. “Well, you know I did a lot of things. I tried to help everyone as much as possible, not just one group, ya know? It’s so _rewarding_ to help as much as you can.”

“Nice! Sounds like you were a really incredible person, Eleanor! I look forward to hearing more about your efforts as a lawyer!” Bambadjan said before shuffling away.

This shook Eleanor. Maybe everybody here actually did belong. She continued her search with a couple other folks, meeting a brain surgeon who saved the lives of 3000 different children in the course of his life, a volunteer who helped build homes in Haiti and redesigned a sanitation system for their community, and a soldier who sacrificed his life to save an entire large village in South Korea.

Compared to all of these people, Eleanor felt so insecure. There was no way she was meant to be in the Good Place if the Good Place is full of goody-two-shoes like this.

Just when she was about to give up her mingling and head to the bar, she noticed the over-enthusiastic dork sitting near her earlier. He was by himself in a corner, not talking to anyone, just standing.

“Hey! What’s up?” she asked casually, far less formally than she had approached the four other strangers.

He smiled at her. “Just debating which appetizer I should have. They’re offering shrimp and finger sandwiches. I’m just wondering which choice is more appropriate for an event like this. How about you? How is your first day here in the Good Place going?”

She smiled back at him, for real this time. There was something that felt more genuine about him than anyone else she’d met yet. “Ah you know, living the dream. My name is Eleanor, and it’s nice to meet you…?” she inflicted her voice to sound like she was asking for his name.

“Chidi. Chidi Anagonye,” he answered succinctly.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Cheeto,” she replied, only half-remembering whatever he said his name was.

He laughed quietly, “Chidi. It’s pronounced Chidi.”

“Oh, okay, Chidi. So, what brings you here to The Good Place? What did you do for a living on Earth?” she asked, continuing her survey.

“I was a professor and researcher of ethics and moral philosophy,” he said.

“Oh, nice. Teacher. That’s pretty cool,” Eleanor responded. “I was a lawyer who helped a bunch of people. No big deal though,” she said, clearly trying to make it sound like a big deal.

Chidi tightly pursed his lips together for an awkward half-smile and said, “Nice. What kind of law did you specialize in?”

“Oh, you know. The good kind. I helped a bunch of innocent people get off death row, that kind of stuff.”

“Wow! That’s remarkable!” he exclaimed, eyes open in astonishment. “In Kant’s _Metaphysical Elements of Justice_ , he highlights the importance of maintaining law and order. It’s rather impressive that you served your deontological purpose in such an honorable way.”

Eleanor didn’t know what else to say. Most of the other people she’d spoken to that night finished their conversation with her by this point, and she had NO IDEA what the fork this nerd was talking about with – what was it – _deodorant-logical purposes_? Conveniently, she suddenly processed what Chidi had said to her moments ago when they first met. “Yeah, wait did you say they had shrimp earlier? I heard you mention shrimp?”

“Uh yeah. Janet is carrying around a platter. I just still haven’t figured out which option I would like between the shrimp and the finger sandwiches.”

“Sounds rough, bud. Well I’m gonna go pick me up some of them shrampies, but it was cool meeting you. I’ll see you round?” she asked, hoping that she would be able to make some friends that weren’t her immortal angel soulmate. She actually enjoyed the company of this weird dork.

“Yeah, it was really nice to meet you too, Eleanor. I’ll see ya,” he said, allowing her to part from their discussion.

Eleanor quickly walked through the fancily adorned rooms trying to find Janet, forgetting that she could just call her into existence. Just as she remembered this fact, though, Michael approached her with excitement.

“Eleanor, there you are! It’s good to see you. You look… beautiful,” he said, humbly looking her up and down and his cheeks turning a shade of pale crimson.

“Yeah, I know. I’m a babe. Thanks, though,” she casually responded to the compliment, before looking back up at her suitor.

They looked in each other’s eyes for a moment and Eleanor could have sworn that time had froze in that moment. She saw a genuine flicker of adoration in his gaze that she’d never seen anyone give her before – a look that made her feel truly _seen_. In that moment, she couldn’t explain why she felt so vulnerable, but any logical reason was deemed inessential by the comforting warmth that unfurled through her entire body.

She came to her senses a few moments later and once she got her composure back, she hastily reached down to touch the fabric of her gown, because something in that moment made her feel naked.

By the look of it, Michael had also gotten lost in the moment, and upon seeing Eleanor meddle with her dress, he blinked rapidly, as if he were waking himself up. Then he quietly addressed her, “Eleanor, I understand that given our _predicament_ you may not feel comfortable with a public announcement of our… ah… situation. If you want to leave the party, I understand,” he paused, taking a deep breath. His piercing blue eyes peering into her own, he asked, “Would you like to go home, Eleanor?”

She considered it, really. In retrospect, perhaps it was what she should have done. Michael could have just told the others that she wasn’t feeling well or that she needed some time to adjust on her own. It wouldn’t have even been a lie, necessarily; she didn’t feel well and certainly needed the time to adapt to things. It also seemed as if Michael felt insecure about her being there. At the orientation, he didn’t seem too thrilled about Tahani’s party idea, but it being the Good Place and all, he probably had to let her do whatever she wanted. If there was one thing Eleanor Shellstrop was good at, it was knowing when she wasn’t wanted somewhere.

Still, being the only person in the neighborhood to leave the party early would single her out, and it could raise suspicion if any other evidence came out against Eleanor. She didn’t trust the other residents enough to believe they wouldn’t get in her business and start asking questions. She didn’t want to give anyone else the satisfaction of thinking they were better than her. Even though it could bring embarrassment for the both of them, Eleanor had to save her own ash.

“No, Michael. It’s okay – I’m okay. I mean, I haven’t even gotten any shrimp yet! So definitely can’t leave yet, am I right?” she said with a playful smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

Michael grinned at her comment. “I guess so,” he said. “But I want to make sure you’re comfortable. Is there anything I can do to help you feel comfortable? Can I get you a drink?”

 _A drink_. That is _exactly_ what she needed. She knew that it might not be the wisest decision to make, considering she was trying to keep up an appearance. But after finding out all the craziness of arriving in the wrong afterlife, and having to pretend to be soulmates with the creator of their entire paradise, she believed that she deserved to have a drink and relax.

“Thank you, Michael. That sounds great. Maybe two actually? Just so that you don’t have to run back later, ya know?”

He giggled at her little quip and said, “Of course. Anything for you, Eleanor.”

 _Anything for you, Eleanor_.

That was surely a statement she was not used to hearing. Well, she heard it a lot on Earth, but always in a sarcastic and demeaning way. Like in January 1993 when 11-year-old Eleanor asked her mother to drop her off at a friend’s place for a sleepover and her mother burst out into satirical dramatics saying, “Oh, of course! Even though WWE is premiering a new show tonight, and I am in the comfort of my own home already out of my bra and in my favorite pajamas, I would love to stop watching Monday Night Raw just to take you over to your little friend’s house. It would be my _pleasure_. Anything for you, Eleanor. Any other demands, my highness?”

But this was different. This wasn’t sarcasm or mockery or anything like that at all. When he said it, Michael didn’t make her feel like a burden. In fact, the opposite was true: she felt appreciated.

Just as he turned around, he bumped into the tall hostess along with a man clad in a red robe. “Ah yes, Tahani and Jianyu! Allow me to introduce you to Eleanor.” He turned back to face her and said, “Eleanor, this is Tahani, and her soulmate, Jianyu. Please let them keep you company while I grab you a drink.” With that, he exited the room, presumably to go to the bar.

Now Eleanor was stuck with the snobby bench whose idea this was in the first place and her –

 _Wait? How does Tahani know her soulmate already? I thought no one else knew yet_ , Eleanor thought to herself.

“Eleanor, what an absolute delight to make your acquaintance! This is my darling, Jianyu. Please forgive him. See, Jianyu here is a Buddhist monk who is committed to a vow of silence. But I suppose I do enough talking for the both of us, darling, don’t I?” Tahani asked with her brisk hubris. The monk gently bowed in recognition to her statement.

“Oh, how fun!” Eleanor lied. “So, how did you two meet already? I thought it was actually your idea for soulmates to be revealed at this party,” Eleanor said, trying to remain calm, but still frustrated that Tahani didn’t even follow through on her own idea.

“Oh well Michael told me in advance because he figured I would be too busy hosting the celebration to participate the game.”

“Game? What game?” Eleanor inquired defensively.

“Oh well, Michael came to me with the most brilliant idea! Soulmates stand on opposite sides of the room, in two groups. You’re either an A or a B and your partner is in the other group. Everyone gets a chance to guess a _different_ soulmate pairing than that of their own, using the two opposite sides of the room as indicators. If they guess correctly, they win a prize! How marvelous!”

So not only was this soulmate thing a reveal, but it was a gameshow? No, this was bad, very bad. No one would even guess to put Michael, their holy landlord, with anyone. She would be the last person in the room, and it would force her and Michael to awkwardly explain themselves.

_Maybe it’s not too late to leave early. Unless…_

“What’s the prize?” she asked. It was probably senseless. It was heaven after all. What kind of prize could they give her that they didn’t have already?

“Michael told me that any winners get to… ready for it? They get to fly! Tomorrow morning, all winners will soar in the sky like graceful doves!”

 _No forking way_. Flying? That had to be the coolest thing she’d ever heard. She couldn’t pass up a chance to win that, especially considering how good her matchmaker senses were.

“And you didn’t want to fly, sweet thing?” Eleanor asked the tall brunette.

“To me, hosting a momentous gathering is far more rewarding that flight. Although, I suppose it would have been fun. I didn’t really think too much into it at the time, I suppose. But… oh never mind that! I’m just glad to see all these lovers uniting for the first time! Instead of a dove, I’ll just be like a swan, swimming through the lake of romance that is blossoming in this neighborhood.”

Eleanor could barely hold it together listening to Tahani’s pretentious metaphors about love and different types of birds. This girl was definitely not as perfect as she seemed, even if her gorgeous stature and flawless skin told another story.

Michael couldn’t have returned at a more perfect time. “Here you are, Eleanor,” Michael handed her two full glasses of red wine. “I poured a little extra for you, thought you could use it.”

He was right – she could use the extra alcohol. She didn’t want to have to listen to Tahani’s ramblings sober, and certainly not have to witness the catastrophe that would come of this game show.

With Michael finally back, Tahani turned her attention towards him, “Now that you’ve returned, Michael, I was wondering if you would kindly help me set the room for our little game.”

“I would love to!” Michael replied. “Eleanor, you stay here with Jianyu and I’ll come back when we’re finished. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, go ahead, man. I’ll be here,” she answered.

With that the two of them escorted themselves into the next room to prepare for the contest and Eleanor was left with two full-to-the-brim glasses of wine. She took a big gulp from the glass in her left hand and said to Jianyu, “Ooh! Red Moscato. My favorite!” She quickly downed the glass and handed the empty goblet to the monk. “Here, hold onto this so it doesn’t look like I’m drinking both of these.” He took it without question, remaining tranquil and silent.

Eleanor noticing there weren’t many people in the room, chugged the entire second glass of wine. At this point, she began to feel a little tipsy.

_Why is heaven making me such a lightweight?_

Eleanor in her buzzed stupor had a reckless idea. “Wait, you can’t talk, right? You’re a silent monk, and you can’t repeat anything I say to you, yes?”

Jianyu bowed in an earnest fashion. Eleanor supposed this was confirmation.

“Come here, come here,” she pulled him aside to a corner of the room where no one could hear them. “I’m not supposed to be here! They made a mistake! And to make matters worse, they stuck me with _Michael_ as my soulmate! Can you believe that?” she drunkenly laughed. It felt so good to be able to confess to someone, especially since she could trust him to be quiet. She continued her ramblings, “I mean he’s not bad looking. He’s definitely forkable – kind of like a sexy Sam the Eagle crossed with that bartender guy from _Cheers_. But he’s such a dork. When he left my weird-ash house earlier, he said ‘See ya later alligator!’. What kind of immortal being says shirt like that? I guess he’s not so bad but it’s just weird. And now I gotta pretend to like the son of a bench.”

Jianyu just looked at her, no expression on his face.

“You’re a good listener, Jianyu. It’s a good thing. You’d have to be in order to handle Tahani, am I right?” she tried to joke, but Jianyu had no noticeable response. “I’m going to get some more wine, do you want any? Do monks drink?”

She brought Jianyu into the next room where she saw Michael leave earlier, as she presumed this is where the bar was. She noticed a long stand with several bottles of wine and champagne, but also noticed Michael and Tahani finishing the touches on the room. She tried to pour herself a glass of champagne without being noticed, but she did not succeed.

“Oh, Eleanor and Jianyu! Just in time! We’re about to call everyone here for the game,” Michael remarked.

Eleanor faked a wide grin, pretending to be happy about this stupid game. She still wondered if she should have just gone home when Michael told her she could, but she would seem to conspicuous if she left now. She had to see it through. Besides, who know, maybe she’d get to fly tomorrow?

The next thirty minutes flew by as she kept drinking more and more champagne. Without her paying much attention to it, the game had started, with Michael charismatically leading the act like a cosmic Howie Mandel in a soulmate edition of Deal or No Deal. She didn’t realize she was standing in the right place for the game until one of the residents pointed at her and said “Okay, okay. Eleanor and… Chris?”. She looked over at the other resident being called out. He was a tall, fit young man with light brown hair who was definitely Eleanor’s type.

Michael responded, putting on a show, “Glenn, I have the results for your match. Chris…” There was a tangible air of suspension in the room, even though Eleanor knew what he was about to say. “You are NOT the soulmate of Eleanor.” Michael had an odd satisfaction painted on his face when disproving the conjecture. Eleanor wondered if he felt proud that he got to be soulmates with her instead of the chiseled man across the room. Probably – who wouldn’t be proud to have her?

“Eleanor,” Michael asked, “would you like to take a chance?”

Eleanor knew that he was talking about the silly soulmate game they were all wrapped up in, but in her drunken mind, she took those words straight to her heart, as if he were asking her to take a chance with him. As dorky as he was, and as odd as the situation was, she wanted to see where it went. Maybe it was the liquor talking (to be honest, it probably was), but something in the way the room span and shrank so that Michael was the only thing she could see made her feel so sure of what she wanted. In her intoxication, she boldly stepped forward and looked him in the eye and said, “Yes.”

Michael looked back at her, seemingly surprised. He looked around the room, however, and pushed her to play along with the game. “Okay, what is your guess?”

When she agreed, she forgot what she had agreed to. Now that she was in front of nearly everyone, considering only a handful of soulmate pairings had been accurately predicted, she wanted to guess this correctly. She wanted to fly. It was the only reason she stuck around, after all.

She turned her eyes to the geeky professor she had met earlier that had looked so excited at the possibility of a soulmate. He looked nervous in this moment of uncertainty, standing on the “B” group side of the chamber. The poor guy couldn’t even pick an appetizer, how could he handle standing in front of a room of strangers and wondering who he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with? He was visibly sweating, but he managed to maintain a smile nonetheless.

She looked on the on the other side of the dining area, where the “A” group stood. The only person who seemed nearly as excited about finding their soulmate was that girl from earlier who started this whole thing.

Eleanor confidently pointed at her and said, “Hopeless romantic there… and,” she shifted her finger over to Chidi, “nerdy professor Cheeto.” Even when mispronouncing his name, she noticed him smile at her acknowledgement of him.

Michael looked at Eleanor in further shock, his eyebrows raised to the top of his head. Or maybe Eleanor was just to drunk to tell, but that’s how it seemed. He said, “Eleanor your guess is… is correct? Antoinette, Chidi, meet each other. You are soulmates!”

Chidi ecstatically rushed over to the girl Eleanor pointed out and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

Eleanor wasn’t expecting to actually get it right, not on the first shot, at least. _Wow, I do good at this stuff when I’m drunking, huh?_ she considered in her mind.

It looked like Michael was even more impressed than she was, though. His mouth was still gaping in what she assumed was amazement at her accuracy. He was still looking right at her, apparently unable to shift his focus towards anything else.

She smirked back at him in a somewhat flirtatious manner. She knew that she was good at telling who belonged together, she was smart when in came to these things. She could always tell which celebrity romances would fail, and which would become successes, and which would be exposed as fakes. She’d place bets on it with her friends and she’d almost always win. And even here in the Good Place, she managed to keep her talent _while drunk off her ash_.

Eleanor raised a glass and said in a cocky tone, "That's right, benches, I get to FLY tomorrow! Wooooo! I'll see you all then!"

She started to walk out of the room in her confidence, until Tahani gaily spoke up, “Eleanor, where are you going? You still haven’t met your special someone.”

Even though every eye in the room was peeled on her, in her inebriated perspective, she did not care. She gauntly announced to the entire room with a click of her champagne glass, “Okay, okay, okay, everybody. I’m just gonna say this to get it out of the way now so we don’t gotta be weird about it later, kapeesh?”

There was an awkward moment of silence before Eleanor carried on. “None of these people over here,” she gestured to the front right corner of the room, where the “B” candidates stood, “none of them is gonna be with me. The person I get to spend the rest of my afterlife with is Michael. Yeah, the awesome genius creator guy who made this whole thing. He’s my soul man. I don’t know how or why, but he is and I am forking lucky because he’s forking awesome. Bet none of you were gonna guess that, huh?” she asked cheekily to everyone in the room.

On her right, towards the back of the room, she witnessed Chidi looking at her in disbelief, still sitting down and holding hands with Antoinette. She noticed Tahani and Jianyu in front of her. Tahani’s eyes were practically bulging out of her face while Jianyu remained expressionless. She saw Janet, in the furthest corner of the room from her, with a wide innocent grin.

Lastly, she looked back at Michael, who was faintly and humbly smiling in the middle of the room. He seemed taken aback by her speech, but he didn’t seem angry or embarrassed. She couldn’t figure out exactly what he was probably thinking, as she was starting to lose her balance, but she wondered if he felt cherished in that moment.

Realizing the embarrassment she caused herself, she quietly muttered, “I’m… I’m gonna go. I’m gonna get some shrimp and then I’m gonna go.” As she turned her back and walked forward, she stumbled and fell on the ground.

The last thing she could clearly remember from that evening was hearing Michael’s voice say, “Janet, can you help Tahani here? I’m going to walk Eleanor home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that so hilarious? I just love the idea of a drunk Eleanor stumbling down and telling everyone she can't leave until she gets some shrimp!
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please leave a kudos and a comment! It really, really means a lot to me to see interaction surrounding this story. Even if it's constrictive criticism, I am always looking to improve!!
> 
> I don't know how much I'll be posting the next few days because I work a lot this week but I will try to post at least once every three days. And I will also be an emotional wreck next week when the show finally ends 😭😭😭 But I'm gonna try my best to stay strong for this story <3
> 
> Thank yinz once again and I'll see you next chapter! :D


	8. The Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued support on this fic! It gets me so excited to see new comments and kudos every couple days. I know I was updating very quickly for a while, and it took me like a week to post this chapter. But I've been so busy with work and my classes are starting soon so yeah.
> 
> Ngl the finale broke me 😭😭 but in like a beautiful way, ya know? I didn't really want to write this chapter after watching it, but I also couldn't think of anything else to do. After this fic is complete, definitely expect a post-finale AU type deal with some Hellstrop feels from me <3
> 
> With all that being said, here is Chapter 8: The Walk. This one is from Michael's POV, considering Eleanor doesn't really remember any of this happening later lmao. I hope you enjoy it!

As Michael walked out of Tahani’s mansion with a plastered Eleanor Shellstrop leaning on his arm, he knew every demon in that building was eyeing him up.

Not in any single reboot did Michael walk Eleanor home after she got drunk at the welcome party. She got drunk nearly every single time, and either Chidi would walk her home, Tahani would begrudgingly let her stay in her place, Eleanor would sneak into one of Tahani’s rooms without her knowledge and fall asleep, or she would simply walk home alone. Even though the place was crawling with monsters, Eleanor was none-the-wiser and had none of the worries an Earthly woman has walking late at night by herself.

Of course, none of these demons would ever actually go out of their way to hurt Eleanor like that, especially under the supervision of Michael, who was leading the entire project. It wouldn’t feel much like The Good Place at all if you had to worry about street harassment, now would it?

But even still, Michael didn’t feel comfortable with her walking alone. Having complete certainty that she would get there safely didn’t change the fact that something just felt so wrong about leaving her on her own like that. It didn’t seem like a fair win.

He also knew that none of the others understood fairness, nor did they care. They didn’t see why Michael wouldn’t let Eleanor go on her own to make a fool of herself. All they saw was their boss take it easy on the girl that just said she was lucky to have him as a soulmate. That wasn’t the best look for him in front of his subordinates, but he didn’t stop him from doing what he felt he needed to do.

When they walked down the stairs of the mansion, Eleanor began to protest, “Wait, no, Mikey! I never even got my shrimpies! I wanted some shrimp, Michael. I love shrimp so, so, so, so much. Let me go back and just…” With that, she tumbled down one of the steps, almost collapsing until Michael used his strength to pull her back from her fall.

Yet, even in his concern for her well-being, he couldn’t help but chuckle at her stubborn, drunken gestures. “Eleanor, Eleanor. You’re in the Good Place. You can ask Janet for shrimp whenever you want it. But how about you get some shrimp when you’re back home? Maybe get in some comfortable PJ’s and get some rest? You’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.”

Michael couldn’t explain the feelings he was having. He told her she had a big day ahead of her, which was true, and it made him feel so excited to see how the chaos sequence turned out in the morning. There was always a chaos sequence on day 2 of a reboot, and this time would be no exception. This time, however, he begrudgingly let Vicky run the whole show. She nagged him after he explained the details of how the party was supposed to go, and to shut her up, he just agreed to let her run one and only one chaos sequence. As annoying as she was, she was the only demon he trusted to run a successful sequence that didn’t involve electric scorpions or sharks with knives – you know, typical Bad Place tortures. Yet, now that he had no idea what would happen specifically, he was excited to watch it unfold from a new perspective.

But he was afraid. While he wanted Eleanor to question her own sense of belonging, he worried that it wouldn’t go right. Maybe it would end up too violent, or maybe it would be too personal. He hadn’t seen all of the footage from the party, so he wasn’t sure of what Vicky would use against her. Perhaps it was the usual rude and objectifying remark about Tahani, or maybe this time it was about Chidi. He hadn’t intended for her to meet Chidi yet, but Tahani was talking so much and he didn’t have the time to greet Eleanor at the party soon enough. However, by the way Eleanor talked about him during the soulmate game, he figured that she didn’t say many kind things about him.

Still, something about losing control over her experience made him feel queasy. He wanted to predict how she would react upon waking up and seeing the madness outside her window. Not knowing exactly how this would unfold was exhilarating, but it was so… humbling. It reminded him of how little control he really had over the four humans, especially Eleanor.

“Oh yeah. I won the game! I get to fly! Woooo!”

 _Oh fork_.

He knew that he guaranteed that promise as a way to make Eleanor disappointed, but perhaps what felt the worst was knowing that she actually _did_ win that challenge. Out of all of the random pairings she could have selected, Michael could have told her she was wrong and watched as she made a fool of herself, angrily storming out of the party, jealous of all the “residents” that would be able to fly.

But her picking Vicky and Chidi… well, given all of Vicky’s help in this new reboot, he couldn’t afford to say she was wrong. Vicky would never stop complaining if she had her French poet role stripped from her, and her focusing on Chidi gave him plenty of time to isolate Eleanor and focus on her.

He knew he was supposed to love this extra level of disappointment he hadn’t even considered. The original plan _was_ to tell her she was wrong and watch her get all upset that other people could fly and she couldn’t until the chaos sequence broke out. Now, she was faced with a huge let-down. She had high hopes for the next day. She was _looking forward_ to something, and Michael was about to take it away. He knew that this, objectively speaking, is for the best – even better torture than he planned. But something in him, some hidden nook of emotion at the core of his essence, ached at the thought of telling Eleanor no to something she rightfully earned.

Though, thinking on his feet, he’d never lose his demonic instincts. He played along, saying, “Exactly, dear. So we need to make sure you’re sobered up for the morning.” He looked at her and smiled with that big fake Architect smile he’d managed to perfect over several Bearimy’s.

She smiled back, looking very relaxed and content. Halfway to her home, they just strolled in peace.

For a moment, Michael had forgotten why he was doing what he was doing. He forgot that this was supposed to be a method of torture and destruction, as a form of punishment for Eleanor’s earthly offenses. He forgot why he wanted to place them in this fake Good Place neighborhood. All he could do was observe the crisp, soothing air of his own creation and feel the warmth from Eleanor’s body leaning on his.

He lingered in this blissful ignorance until Eleanor spoke, “Michael, I’m sorry if I, like, ruined the soulmate thing or whatever.” He knew she was still extremely intoxicated by the way she was slurring her words, but he knew that her words were genuine. “I know you told me to play it cool with the whole ‘us’ thing and I kinda was like all weird about it or yeah… Sorry if I ruined the night.”

He was shocked at her apology. Eleanor hardly ever apologized for anything. Even when she would study ethics for months on end with Chidi, it would still require him incessantly nagging her to apologize to get her to do it in the beginning. Yet, this apology… It came so natural to her, so fast, and without any guidance from one of the other humans.

After careful reflection he devised the perfect answer, “You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.”

Every chance he had, he took the opportunity to be just the right amount of honest. It was a fun psychological game for him to play against himself: being completely honest while still manipulating her perception. It was quite the balancing act. There were many times where explicit lies were the only way to keep up the experiment: telling her she’s in the Good Place, telling her that other residents are humans that have accomplished great things, etc. There were, however, so many times where, by watching his words very closely, he could communicate the message he wanted to without actually lying, and this was one of those times.

On the surface, it sounded like reassurance. It sounded like he was reminding her that her actions were permissible and that he was under the assumption that she still belonged in “the Good Place”. This is what she would hear him say, even if she probably wouldn’t remember it in the morning from her drunken state.

However, to him, he knew what he was thinking.

_You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing._

She was falling into the trap that he planted just for her. Encouraging her to drink so that she would say regrettable things, setting her up in a confusing relationship that makes her question her own value, and so on. She was doing what he needed her to do so far, and he was happy that she was falling for it. It sure beat the handful of reboots where she figured it out in less than a day.

This balancing game stirred a sea of feelings in him. It was adventurous, scandalous, and yet, that apprehensive feeling that dug at his core was still present. He couldn’t verbalize it, but there was a palpable discomfort that sat with him in these moments. Something that made him contemplate what it meant to tell a lie, and what it meant to speak the truth. It made him struggle in a subconscious tug-of-war between deception and verity, and his psyche was the rope.

These considerations, however, occurred to him so quickly that he barely remembered them until they arose again. He forgot all of these profound thoughts as soon as Eleanor responded, just moments later.

“Michael, can I tell you something?”

“Of course, you can tell me anything.”

_Please don’t say you don’t belong here. Please don’t say you don’t belong here._

“I really, I really, I like actually really appreciate you. It’s not easy for me to say this, but I think it’s sweet that you’re taking so much time to help me and walk me home and stuff. I know you probably have other things you could be doing, but yeah…”

“Oh, Eleanor,” he muttered. He knew that playing like he didn’t know what to say would be a good move for his character, but he actually didn’t know what to say. He was so scared that Eleanor would give herself away and ruin what he had planned for the rest of the experiment, and thus he felt a great relief.

Yet, relief was not the end of it. Being told that he was appreciated, by his arch nemesis, it was… odd. There were countless times where Eleanor thanked Michael, but not many of them were so intimate and sincere, and even then, those moments were usually preceded with many months of him pretending to be her friend.

This was on day one, and there she was, thanking him for his kindness. Perhaps he should have expected this, considering the new nature of their faux relationship, but he hadn’t, and was left feeling oddly inspired.

“Eleanor, I am… flattered. Thank you.”

In front of her house, they stood, Eleanor leaning over in her intoxication, still gazing into Michael’s eyes. With a final exhale, he broke their connection and opened the door to her home, and gently guided her into her bedroom. She sat on her bed and kicked off her heels and looked up to him, and said, “I… yeah I am very tired.”

He laughed at her obvious remark. She never ceased to be entertaining.

“I can tell,” he answered with a small smile.

“Do you want to stay in bed with me?”

This alarmed him. He was not expecting Eleanor to be so forward. “I…. uhh…”

“Not like that, you perv,” Eleanor retorted, still audibly slurring her sentences. “I mean… it’s late. So maybe you can just like... stay with me for the night and catch some shut-eye here?”

“Oh, as an immortal being, I don’t need to sleep, but I appreciate the offer, Eleanor.”

“Well maybe you just stay here and cuddle? I liked to get cuddly when I’m this drunk.”

The offer was strangely tempting. Even if he hated to admit it, her puppy-dog-eyes were adorable. She looked so beautifully vulnerable as she began to shift the covers on the bed, completely naïve to the hell she was trapped in.

He could justify it, too, he was sure. It would be playing with her feelings, especially if he left before she woke up. It would leave her feeling extra abandoned. He could find a good reason to explain it to Vicky and the few other demons who were invested in the “story” (there weren’t many; most of them were either stupid or apathetic).

Still, he decided to settle on, “Maybe another night, ok?”

“I’ll remember this! You watch, I’m gonna remember that and I’m gonna hold you to your promise!” she said, looking in the other direction as she began to tuck herself into her bed, still dressed in her black gown and her hair a wild mess.

“I’m sure you will, dear,” he said sarcastically, almost certain that she wouldn’t remember all of the evening. “Now just get some rest, ok?” he told her, brushing some hair out of her rested face. He was acting, right? Acting called for doing things you wouldn’t normally do. In such case, he was allowed to be sweet and gentle with her. He was allowed to help tuck her into the covers, and he was obviously allowed to kiss her on her forehead and say, “Goodnight, Eleanor.”

It was acting as part of the experiment, so it excused him. That’s what he had to remind himself of, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. The next one should be pretty comical and full of action so stay tuned! If you liked it, please for the love of Derek, leave a comment. It fuels my ego. I boast to my best friend being like "omg my fic has 36 comments on it!!" so yeah. I notice!
> 
> See ya next chapter & take it sleazy! :D


	9. The Alligators

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yinz! Hope you're ready for Chapter 9: The Alligators.
> 
> I was very excited to write this chapter, and after like 3 red bulls and a coffee later, it is complete. I've really appreciated all of the amazing comments you've left on this story. It means sooooo much to me that so many of you are excited to see where this story goes.
> 
> I will say this chapter doesn't have a lot of Michael/Eleanor interaction. Actually, it doesn't have any at all. But it is quite a comical chapter and it really sets up a lot of the friendships for the story (because friendships are just as important as romances, y'all!)
> 
> okay well enough chit-chat! I will let you to it! :D

The sunlight came through her window and Eleanor woke from her slumber in peace. She couldn’t quite remember how she ended up in this strange bedroom, but as she blinked her eyes a few times, her memories started to come back to her.

The Good Place.

The Party.

Michael.

Ah yes, she remembered now. She was an imposter in paradise, and she was supposedly destined to fall in love with the designer of her entire new world.

As this realization befell onto her, she heard the sound of screams and muffled music from outside her cottage.

In a matter of fear and self-preservation, she rushed to the window, and upon pulling back the bright curtains, she saw a hoard of people running around, panicking and screaming.

She realized she was still in her black dress from the night before and pondered if she should change. Sure, it seemed like people were in danger, but if there was truly a reason to run, she needed to be wearing something comfortable. She quickly changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, reminding herself of the justification she just provided to herself, trying to ignore the nagging voice inside her head that told her there were more important matters at hand.

She threw on some slippers and exited her home to see what the problem was. As she neared the center of the neighborhood, she felt something hit her head. Her face scrunched up in displeasure that she didn’t know what was touching her. She felt something hit on her back again. She turned around to see if there was anyone, but no one was close enough to throw anything at her. Any people she could see were in the distance, and running like maniacs. She felt a couple pellets fall towards her chest, with whatever it was falling into her low-cut shirt. Puzzled and annoyed, she picked whatever had fallen into her shirt, and to her surprise, there were three Cheetos. She looked upward to the sky and noticed that the crunchy cheese snacks were raining from above. Without thinking too long, she looked side to side to make sure she wasn’t in anyone’s field of view, and she quickly ate them.

“Not bad,” she said to herself, shrugging in acceptance for the wild events around her.

She marched forward to the center of town, where all of the frozen yogurt shops were located (she still couldn’t understand why there was so much frozen yogurt). The music became louder and clearer and she could start to understand the words.

_Where everybody knows your name… And they’re always glad you came…_

There, she saw most of the residents running in and out of buildings and shrieking in horror.

_What the fork is…?_

Before she could even begin to question the madness surrounding her, she came face-to-face with what she presumed all of the commotion was about: a large, 10-foot alligator, barring its teeth and creeping towards Eleanor from only 15 feet away.

Eleanor did not grow up in an area where she encountered such large reptiles, and in that moment, she realized she never learned what to do. The only thing she could vaguely remember about crocodiles was Steve Irwin on the Discovery channel, but every time she would try to watch it as a young teenager, her mom would tell her to change the channel to something better, like MTV or wrestling.

She calmly and slowly walked backwards, not realizing that she was headed into a dead-end corner. As she walked, the alligator followed, widening its hungry grin. It started to pick up a little pace, which made Eleanor turn and run, except when she turned, she realized she was in a corner between two buildings, The Fro-Yo Palace and Yogurt! Yogurt! Yogurt!

She was terrified, as she didn’t know what would happen. She was dead already, she tried to remind herself. She can’t die again, can she? Is there some sort of second death? This wasn’t made very clear to her, and fear took over her body.

The alligator looked at Eleanor with its cold, beady eyes centered on her. It sped up, legs running across the stone of the plaza, and it unhinged its jaw as it charged towards her.

Eleanor closed her eyes tightly, unsure of what would happen next, but knowing that she didn’t want to see whatever it was.

Yet, as she waited in darkness for the inevitable pain, nothing happened. While her eyes remained closed, she began to let go of the extreme tension in her face and began to shift her expression into one reflecting confusion. She then opened just her right eye at first, to bring her senses back into the present moment, and the sight in front of her prompted her to open the other.

There was Jianyu, the peaceful Buddhist monk who still maintained his vow to silence in _heaven_ , wrestling the 10-foot alligator with confidence and precision. She witnessed him on top of the alligator’s back, holding it in a near-chokehold, and pushing in its eyes. He was still quiet, but gestured for Eleanor to run around while he held the animal, and she followed.

She ran as fast as she could, using her mobility to run towards one of the neighborhood’s main fountain and garden areas.

_Good thing I changed out of that dress, after all!_

There, she noticed the lovey-dovey girl who was soulmates with the professor she met last night. The girl came running towards Eleanor.

“Oh my goodness. What is happening today? There’s vicious alligators and the same one-minute song keeps playing over and over and everyone’s clothes are all blue and yellow,” she said in one exasperated breath. She paused, looking up and down at Eleanor “Well… not yours, huh.”

Eleanor looked down at her own clothing and back at the other girls’. She was right. Out of everyone Eleanor had seen, she was the only one not wearing the odd striped clothing.

_No, no, no, no… Fork no. This can’t be…_

In a flash, a large creature flew over them, casting a fierce shadow over the both of them. It was so fast that Eleanor couldn’t figure out what it was, but clearly everything here was royally forked up, so it had to be something bad.

The creature flew in a circle until it slowed down and landed on top of one of the tall, large pillars in the garden, not too far from them.

“What in heck is _that?”_ the French girl asked in disgust and terror.

Eleanor turned around to get a better look and…

Across them, perched valiantly on a column, gazing with authority over the entire neighborhood, was a huge, animate Sam the Eagle.

In this moment, Eleanor knew what all of this was about. The theme song, the alligators, Sam the Eagle… it was all about _her_.

_"...kind of like a sexy Sam the Eagle..."_

_"...crossed with that bartender guy from Cheers..."_

_"When he left my weird-ash house earlier, he said ‘See ya later alligator!’. What kind of immortal being says shirt like that?"_

Her own words came to haunt her memory and she knew she had to do something.

“I… I need to go…” she said, trying to run off back to her house. She needed to change into the same clothing everyone else had before Michael found her, or else he would realize this was all about her.

Not only was it about her, but it was about _him_. Things she had said about him, at least. She didn’t realize it, as she barely pays attention to what she says to begin with, but as soon as she saw her childhood Muppet crush overlooking the entire town, she realized there was no one else this could be about. She compared Michael to Sam the Eagle and now… she wasn’t sure how… but now something was wrong. She had to look innocent before getting caught.

Yet, as she had the opportunity to escape, she saw the dorky philosopher cornered by the same alligator that threatened Eleanor just minutes earlier. She knew it was in her best interest to go home and ask Janet for some clothes and change, but she couldn’t just see the helpless nerd trapped with a wild reptile and not do anything.

“Janet!” she called.

 _*Bing*_ “Hi!” she said, with a pure, unbending smile, waving her right hand as a welcoming gesture to Eleanor.

“Hey babe, look, I know there’s some crazy shirt going down, but can you just snap that alligator out of here?”

“I’m sorry, Eleanor. My powers seem to be limited in regards to preventing the chaos that is destroying the neighborhood! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Eleanor’s eyes opened widely in surprise at how cheerful Janet could remain while talking about the destruction of the neighborhood. “Can you bring that monk guy here? I think his name is Jianyu?” she asked, in hopes that he could save him the same way he saved her.

“Jianyu, yes. I will bring him now.” In a blink of the eye, Janet disappeared and reappeared only a few seconds later, with Jianyu next to her, in a blue and yellow striped robe.

“Hey buddy, can you help that guy over there like you did with me? I don’t know how you did it, but he needs help right now,” she requested.

Jianyu modestly bowed towards Eleanor and sprinted full-speed and hopped on the alligator’s back, putting pressure on its eyes and restraining it into submission. However, when he gestured for the sweater-vest-clad man to move, he stood frozen, staring straight at the monster.

Eleanor called out to him, “Hey, Cheeto, buddy? Run for it, man! C’mon! Get the fork out of there!”

He looked up at her, and after a few moments, skipped in panic around the creature and run over towards her and Janet. He took a few deep and audible breaths and proceeded to speak, “I… have a stomachache.”

They all watched the monk wrestle the gator until it was weak and ran off in its exhaustion. Eleanor and her other human friend were left with their mouths open in suspense, while Janet remained in her default joyful posture.

When the mute returned to them, Eleanor blurted out, “Dude that was so forking cool! How do you know how to do all that? You have GOT to teach me!” She started to laugh, knowing they were safe in the meantime, the only nuisance being the occasional cheese puffs falling on their foreheads.

Jianyu looked troubled, looking back and forth in both directions, which lead Eleanor to ask again, in a different tone, “How _did_ you know how to do that, Jianyu?”

The monk looked in her eyes briefly and grabbed her hand, bowing forward. As he did, he slid a note into her palm, that she instinctively kept hidden. She knew when to play it cool and be sneaky. There were _many_ private notes she’d remained stealthy about during her life, and even if this weren’t one of them, it was a force of habit.

She slipped it into her back pocket and waved bye as he departed from their presence with a head bow.

Chidi faced towards Eleanor, “Oh my goodness, you just saved my life. Well, I supposed we’re already dead! But you saved me from a lot of pain! I don’t know what would have happened if that crocodile got to me.”

“Alligator,” Eleanor corrected, knowing exactly why it was an alligator.

“Okay, yeah. I don’t really know the difference. Look, I am so grateful for your help back there and I am indebted to you. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

This was the jackpot, she thought to herself. This was how she was going to dig herself out of this massive hole. She knew exactly what she was going to do and how she was going to do it. She smiled at the man and then turned her attention to the robot woman. “Janet, can I have some clothes like everyone else has? With the stripes?” she asked.

“Here you go,” she said, placing the clothes in front of her, in her hands.

Eleanor grabbed them and said, “Thanks.”

Chidi, noticing this encounter, asked, “Why are you asking for different clothing? Are you the only one who doesn’t look like this right now?”

Now that Chidi said he owed her one, she had the upper hand. She just needed to be smart about it.

“Follow me and I’ll explain,” she said, heading back to her tiny cabin. She continued as they started in the correct direction, “So, you seem like you really like to help people, yeah?”

“Well, of course. It’s my deontological calling. We’re all supposed to help each other,” he replied.

“Right, right,” Eleanor said, nodding her head even though she had no clue what those words meant. “And if someone needed help, would you do your very best to help them if you knew that you could prevent a lot of harm.”

“Well, I suppose it depends on the stakes at hand. Are other people at risk, are there any moral objections that _I_ would need to face as a…”

Eleanor interrupted him, “Would you or would you not help someone who needed your help?”

“I guess I would if I knew that I could.”

“Would you do something if you knew it would cause a lot of harm to someone?”

“Of course I wouldn’t. I don’t wish to do any harm.”

“Then promise me, someone who just saved your life, that you would never harm me and never betray me.”

“I mean, of course I would never harm you,” he responded, a look of bewilderment on his face.

“I need your help and I need you to promise you will help me. Can you make that promise to me? That you will help me, someone who is sharing the same afterlife with you for all of eternity?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No, I need you to say it. Say ‘Eleanor, I promise to help you. I promise to never harm you or betray you.’”

With a sigh and an awkward smile he said, “Eleanor, I promise to help you, to never put you in any harm’s way, and to never betray you.”

As he said that they arrived at her front door. She gestured for him to come in, which he politely obliged to.

“Good. Because I _really_ need your help. There’s been a really big mistake and I don’t belong here.”

“What?” he asked, taking a step back from the blonde.

“I don’t belong here. They have all my memories wrong, they think I like _clowns_ , and I’m pretty sure all of the craziness in the neighborhood is because of me.”

“Which is why you’re the only one wearing your normal clothes…” he said quietly, piecing together the reality of the situation.

“Yeah. And everything out there is because of something I said!”

“Like the Cheetos because you can’t pronounce my name correctly,” he said, frustrated with the fact.

“Oh yeah, huh. I didn’t figure that one out. Cool. But yeah… this is all my fault and if Michael finds out…”

“Wait – aren’t you like soulmates with Michael?” Chidi interrupted.

“I guess! I’m supposed to! But apparently I like all this dumb furniture and saved a bunch of innocent kids or whatever. I wasn’t a lawyer! I was just some dirtbag from Arizona who sold fake supplements to a bunch of dumb old people. I never killed anyone or anything, but I also wasn’t some warrior of humanity.” She looked down and looked back into Chidi’s eyes, “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I really don’t want to get sent to the Bad Place. And if you’re a teacher like you said, maybe you can teach me how to be good or whatever?”

The dark man before her took a deep breath and answered, “I don’t know. If I don’t tell Michael am I breaking my duty to him? He thinks he has a real soulmate, too! Is this considered lying? Wait you did _what_ on Earth?”

“You promised me you wouldn’t hurt me. If you tell anyone, this will hurt me. I need you to not tell anyone for any reason.” She felt a little guilty for putting him in this compromising position but she knew it was her only hope of survival. Michael would figure her out soon enough if she spent enough time around him, and she couldn't keep in the secret forever. She spent most of her life manipulating people with loopholes and technicalities and using their own moral guidelines against them. It was one of her greatest skills, and while it arguably would have led her to the Bad Place, it was the only skill keeping her in the Good Place for the time being.

_Damn I was lucky to find him with those alligators._

“Only because I promised you that, and I don’t want to break my word to you. But I think you should say something. You said it yourself, you’re endangering the whole neighborhood!”

“I’m not asking for you to figure this whole thing out, buddy. I just need one day at a time. Teach me how to fit in here.”

With one last exhale, he agreed. “Fine. One day at a time. But, for my own conscious, give me one good reason to help you if you are as selfish as you say you are.”

She chose her words carefully, figuring out the best way to convince him. “I saved your life. Now I need you to save mine.”

“Ah… I have a stomachache.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said it was funny, right? Haha
> 
> Was the "Cheers" thing a little too meta? lol. I thought it'd be kinda funny, though. Besides, they went meta with the whole Phoebe/Patty thing. So i get a free pass too :p
> 
> Please tell me what your favorite part of the chapter was!! Or what you're hoping to see! I have a pretty clear vision for this story but I'd love to hear thoughts/opinions/feedback. Your comments mean so much to me you have no idea. Since I posted this fic, I literally just refresh AO3 while I'm on the subway headed to work and see if any new comments have been left here xD
> 
> Well, once again, thanks for reading! See ya next chapter!


	10. The Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so it's been a minute lol. pandemic and all, life has been crazy. I started a new job so I've had a lot less time to write and even when I have time I'm so exhausted to do anything creative. But the past couple days I've been out of work sick because I have tonsilitis and I might have COVID and so I have to quarantine again and this is what I'm doing with my time :) also I've been feeling hella nostalgic and writing fanfic reminds me of my fun and glorious days as a 15 year old instead of my depressing life as a 22 year old so that's where we're at.
> 
> regardless, thank you for your patience if you've been waiting for an update. enjoy the chapter!!!

Michael, hardly able to contain his laughter, barged into their secret conference room. The lights were fluorescent and lifeless in nature, just like the Real Bad Place.

“Oh my god, you guys! That is hilarious! I have GOT to know what inspired this madness outside!” he shouted, making his entrance known.

Vicky, Glenn, and Bamadjan were already gathered around a hologram screen, eating fried blood clots out of a popcorn bucket, and playing the footage from outside with Tahani trying to hold her dress as she’s running from the giant alligator.

“See, Michael? I told you to let me handle it. And it came out just as good as all of our other chaos sequences!” Vicky retorted.

He hated to admit it, but she was right. She and the small team did an excellent job at causing disruption without seeming too insidious. Now he just had to know all the dirty things Eleanor said about Tahani or Chidi to cause such an uproar. Sucking up his pride, he verbalized it, saying, “Alight, alright. I’ll let you have this one. You did a remarkable job!”

Vicky smiled proudly and then looked at him with menacing eyes and said, “Oh, just wait until you hear what she said about you!”

Everyone at the table was laughing, especially Glenn with his ridiculous snicker. One would think that for a demon, he’d learn how to laugh maniacally like the rest of them, but Glenn just had this odd snicker like the incel at the school lunch table who was writing in his hit list. Then he chimed in, “Oh my goodness, yeah just wait. It’s so funny!”

With the click of a button on a remote, Vicky changed their screen to the footage of last night at Tahani’s party. He saw Eleanor passing a cup to Jason after he left to help Tahani, and she told the fake monk to hold onto it so it didn’t look like she was drinking too much.

_ As if that went well for her _ , he thought.

Then he heard something that shook him to his core:

“I’m not supposed to be here! They made a mistake! And to make matters worse, they stuck me with Michael as my soulmate! Can you believe that? I mean he’s not bad looking. He’s definitely forkable – kind of like a sexy Sam the Eagle crossed with that bartender guy from Cheers. But he’s such a dork. When he left my weird-ash house earlier, he said ‘See ya later alligator!’. What kind of immortal being says shirt like that? I guess he’s not so bad but it’s just weird. And now I gotta pretend to like the son of a bench.”

_ Oh my _ .

There was a lot to unpack there. He felt offended in a way, like she took a jab at his pride. But he also felt… oddly flattered? He knew that she found him a little bit attractive, by the way she had spoken to him the day prior, and by small bits of information he’d gathered over the last 500+ reboots, but she’d never said it so explicitly.

_ Forkable _ .

Of course, it was Fake Good Place censorship, but he knew exactly what she meant. In a matter of milliseconds, his mind flooded with vivid imagery of what those endeavors might look like with her hands cradled around his neck and her bright, plump lips gaped slightly just to let out soft, slow moans…

_ No! Snap out of that! What the hell are you thinking? _

He’d even seen Eleanor in the nude before, many many times. There were 4 dimensional cameras set up in many parts of the neighborhood (they couldn’t quite figure out how to capture all 9 dimensions yet) and many were in the humans’ own home. He’d switched to the cameras to see what they would say and then he’d find Jason masturbating, Tahani getting out of the shower, or Eleanor just walking around in the nude as she liked to. Out of respect, and a general lack of interest, he’d ignore those images. But with all this pretending-to-be-Eleanor’s-soulmate stuff, his naturally sleazy brain couldn’t help but wonder about what more intimate scenarios would look like.

Despite the typical reputation of demons on Earth, most Bad Place employees weren’t interested in sexual matters. When they were, it was always in a very lustful and objectifying way, one that perpetuated Bad Place Ideals like misogyny or patriarchy, but that was only a handful out of the vast majority whose only pleasure came from seeing people’s earlobes torn off with a vacuum. He was never really one to think about things of that intimate nature, but for some reason hearing Eleanor speak of him as a sexual being just engulfed his mind with explicit imagery that he felt deeply ashamed of once coming back to his own awareness.

Then the last thing she said came back to his consciousness: “And now I gotta pretend to like the son of a bench.”

That was a good thing, right? That she found him annoying and thought the phrases he used were weird? That’s good to annoy her, that’s the whole  _ point _ . Yet, somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to wrap his head around it all. Between outright sexualizing him to calling him a dork who she didn’t like, he didn’t know what to think of the matter.

He recognized that Vicky had paused the clip and they were all looking at him, waiting for a response.

“I mean… I don’t think we should have made the chaos sequence about what she said of me. It just seems like a little over the top, don’t you think?”

Vikcy looked back at him, bewildered, and argued, “What? Are you crazy? That was EPIC? Besides, this whole weird soulmate idea was YOUR idea. If that’s the main focus of this reboot, then it only makes sense for the chaos sequence to make her feel guilty about what she said about you. Besides, the alligator thing? Too good to pass up on! Did you SEE the way that Florida himbo tackled it? It was hi-larious.”

“You couldn’t have made it anything she said about Tahani? We always use what she says about Tahani to drive a wedge between them early on! Giant giraffe, tall cappuccino, you know… all the good stuff.”

“Oh she didn’t say anything about Tahani,” Bamadjan interjected.

“Yeah we watched it over and over last night and we couldn’t find her saying one mean thing about Tahani all night! We were just as surprised as you are,” Glenn added.

Michael was surprised. Not one mean thing about Tahani? Eleanor always has an issue with Tahani on the first day, but this time it was just him…

“I mean,” Vicky said, “we did try to get as creative as we could. We added the cheetos since that’s what Elenor kept calling Chidi. We even added the lime chili ones!” She smiled, trying to make her efforts go noticed.

Glenn chimed in, “Ooooh, those taste so good with that nasty nacho cheese from 7-11. The kind they dispense with the gross chili?”

“Oh, I haven’t thought of that,” Michael said, thinking about the combo. “ I’ll have to give it a try next time I - wait, no. Problem at hand. Shut up, Glenn.” Glenn was so annoying at times, making him lose his train of thought. “But if these chaos sequences are things she says about me, it’ll make her too scared to even spend time with me!”

“Exactly!” Vicky exclaimed with a cruel grin.

Was that the point of all of this? Is she supposed to become frightened of spending time with him? Was Eleanor supposed to avoid him for the days to come - is that how this reboot was supposed to play out? It would keep her feeling isolated and that would in turn result in more emotional pain for her. But even if it would be effective torture, that’s not really what he wanted.

He  _ liked _ being around Eleanor. He liked having conversations with her so he could figure out all the things that made her tick. Even after 500 reboots, and reading about all of her life on earth, he’d learn something about her from every single interaction. And out of the four humans, she was by far the most amusing. Tahani was such a headache with her obnoxious name-dropping and Chidi’s anxiety was only entertaining in short doses, and Jason wasn’t really that fun to observe until he came forward about being a fake to Eleanor. Additionally, spending the day with Vicky, Glenn, and Bambadjan was so boring. There were only so many awful fart jokes that could be made and gross snacks that could be shared before it felt mundane.

But every day with Eleanor was something new. Her attempts to avoid being caught resulted in the most hilarious of shenanigans and, if he was being honest, the times he had with her were actually fun. He thought back to the very first attempt when she convinced him to do karaoke and bowling with her. Or attempt #270 when she had Janet recreate a Dave and Busters so that they could play air hockey and those zombie shooter games where you’re locked in the little car. Or attempt #411 when she tried to take everyone to the beach and Jason started a sand fight with Janet and Eleanor and buried him head to toe in the sand. A smile crept on his face as he remembered all of these things and then quickly dissolved thinking back to how Vicky wanted her to spend  _ less _ time with him.

To his luck, a different video popped up on their screen and they all watched as Eleanor confessed to Chidi that she didn’t belong there and wanted his help.

“Oh no, that wasn’t supposed to happen so soon was it?” Glenn asked, looking towards Michael.

“Shut up, Glenn!” everyone responded back, in habit.

He knew that this was  _ technically _ bad. The sooner Eleanor and Chidi meet, the sooner she figures it out. But this gave him the exact excuse he needed. “Well,  _ Vicky _ , if either of us were paying enough attention to our subjects, this might not have happened so quickly,” he said trying to place the blame back on her.

“What?” she said, her face scrunched up in confusion. “ _ You _ were the one who called this meeting.”

“Oh yes, well. This goes to show that you need to spend more time with Chidi and I clearly need to spend more time with Eleanor. The more time she spends with the other humans, the quicker she is to figure it out. We need to make this really convincing this time. We can’t scare her too much right off the bat so I will handle the torture of Eleanor Shellstrop from here on out. You all get to focus on torturing the other three.” He added, “You should be thrilled, Vicky. You get to be Antoinette full-time, just like you asked!”

Vicky crossed her arms, pouting and responding, “I guess. But even the most renowned actresses need to rest, Michael.”

Michael waved his wrist carelessly and nonchalantly responded, “Rest when he’s sleeping or whatever.”

Bambadjan spoke up, “Should we call for the usual emergency meeting?”

“Yes! Great idea, Bambadjan. Janet,” he called. When she appeared to his right side, he said, “Janet would you please gather everyone for an emergency meeting at Tahani’s place?”

“On it!” she replied with her typical cheery demeanor before poofing away elsewhere.

Michael put his palm on the table, leaning over in an authoritarian manner, and spoke, “Now when we go to this meeting, I’ll do what we always do. When it’s over, I will handle Eleanor, Vicky you can take care of Chidi, Bambadjan you can focus on Jason, and Glenn, just do whatever it is you do around here or whatever. Are we good?”

Glenn and Bambadjan nodded quietly and Vicky rolled her eyes as she stood from her chair. “Yeah whatever,” she said, defeated, as she left the room, the others following her.

Michael sighed and centered himself so he could get into his dorky-architect character. There were little things he thought of to get into that headspace. Thinking of paper clips, suspenders, and other silly human things. The truth was that he really was fascinated with human culture, he just wasn’t as surprised or ignorant to it as he pretended to be. But sometimes he forgot which things he would say were lies and which ones were true, just like his conversation with Eleanor the night before.

Their private meeting room wasn’t very far from Tahani and Eleanor’s homes for practical purposes, so it wasn’t a very far walk. Apparently, Janet had just appeared before all of the humans and the other demons to let them know to meet at Tahani’s. Michael knew Tahani wouldn’t mind and it made more sense than to keep them outside where it was still raining Cheetos.

A few of the lime chili ones fell on Michael’s shoulders and he thought back to what Glenn said about the 7-11 cheese and made a mental note that he should really try it sometime. There were so many things he had on his list of human things to try. Even with all the Bearimy’s he’d lived through and all the reboots, he’s usually so focused on the plan to actually try anything new, which is another thing he loved about Eleanor. She was such a great excuse to have fun.

He walked into the mansion, acting as if he were repressing a panic. He saw some folks gathered, but some of the demons really liked to take their time with these things. It really irked him that they were so lazy. The first several reboots, they were generally quick to come to the fake meetings, but by now they would just take their time. He wondered if it was in spite. They were demons afterall, so it probably was.

He went over to Tahani, who appeared flustered as she brushed the hem of her dress, and said, “Oh goodness, I am so sorry about all this commotion. I hope you don’t mind that I evacuated all of the residents here.”

“Oh Michael, with all the ruckus going on, I just want everyone to be safe. I am more than glad for my beautiful home to be a safe haven for absolutely any of these wonderful people. It’s better than out there with that wretched creature!” she replied.

“Oh thank you, Tahani. Your generosity is truly such a virtue,” he said, trying to butter her up so she would keep her inflated ego to irritate Eleanor.

“Oh,” she said coyly while blushing and doing a small curtsey, “thank you. That’s just me! You know it reminds me of this one time when Princess Diana needed my help in evacuating the town of-”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry Tahani. I have to go,” he said, leaving her to feel ignored. She always felt the worst when starting a story that people would never hear the end of. It was a pleasure of his, to see her frustrated with no one to hear her name-drop stories.

Michael presented himself in front of everyone by the main stairwells of the mansion, and called for Janet to stand next to him as per usual. He spoke loudly and clearly, “Okay everyone, gather ‘round. Gather round! Thank you everyone for coming here on such short notice!” he said, glaring at a few of the demons who took their time getting there. “I am so terribly sorry about all of the disturbances affecting our neighborhood, especially given that many of our residents were supposed to go flying today. It is clear that something is wrong with our neighborhood. We don’t know what caused it or how long this will last. Well, what do we know Janet?”

Janet responded, “We know where it happened. Here!”

“Yes, that’s true. See that’s the problem with these perfect systems. Just one small error and our whole neighborhood can fall apart. They’re like ripple effects, one imperfect thing and then it spirals into… alligators and raining snack foods.”

Then, as planned, Tahani’s outfit was the first to turn back into normal, and she exclaimed, “Look, Michael!” as he gazed in awe at her outfit’s transformation.

“Oh thank goodness! Maybe that is a sign that this will all be over soon!” he said to the crowd.

“Thank goodness is right!” Tahani added, which he expected. “Blue and gold zigzags is incredibly hard to pull off and it certainly wouldn’t work with a dress like this and its high low hem!”

As several members of the crowd started to shift back, he noticed Eleanor run into the hall - presumably to get changed in the restroom. He also noticed Vicky acting surprised as Chidi changed back and saying to him, “Oh lovely! You look so much better now, darling!” and Chidi seeming overwhelmed by all of her affection.

The crowd dispersed, and so Michael waited by the hall for Eleanor to come out. He wondered how she would ask Janet. The way Eleanor spoke to her was always humorous, asking for some of the most ridiculous things. Michael didn’t know everything that Eleanor asked Janet, but he had a general idea. When Janet would tell Eleanor that Michael didn’t know what she asked, it was sort of true. There was no log or record. But with the 4 dimensional cameras installed throughout the neighborhood, most of everyone’s conversations were being recorded at any given moment.

Eleanor came out of the bathroom with new, normal clothing, as he anticipated. She was wearing the grey Michigan Law t-shirt they put in her drawer as an ode to where she supposedly got her degree from.

Her eyes opened up in surprise at seeing Michael. He could tell she was nervous that he would confront her as the reason for the problem in the neighborhood. She was always worried that he was onto her. He often wondered, if the narrative were true, if he really would suspect Eleanor. It was an interesting thought, to imagine what it would be like if this were really how the real Good Place functioned and eternal paradise was actually led by some anxious angel figure.

“Hey there! Uhh.. had to hit the ladies!” she said trying to keep her innocence. “Room! Hit the ladies’ room! I’m not a football player,” she said, laughing to herself. Michael had to try not to laugh either. That was a new joke that he didn’t expect and he had to give it to her, it was very clever. But he had to maintain his composure if he wanted to actually cause her to worry.

“Can I speak with you outside, Eleanor?” he said sternly. She followed him out of Tahani’s front door and while they walked over to the fountain he said “I need to be honest with you, Eleanor. I would never want to lie to you.” When the finally approached the fountain he leaned in and whispered “I have no idea what’s going on and what could be wrong and I’m really scared.”

Her expression changed, looking a bit more relieved that he supposedly “didn’t realize” her identity yet, but she faked an expression of shock and sympathy. “Oh, I mean.. Accidents happen right?”

“Not here they don’t,” he quickly retorted. “Eleanor, everything in the Good Place is perfect. That’s why it’s the Good Place. And I don’t know what is causing everything to go haywire. If I could be vulnerable with you for a moment,” he said, asking for permission and looking into her bright eyes. She looked back up at him and nodded slowly, so he continued, “this is actually my very first neighborhood. I haven’t told any of the other residents because I want them to think that I know what I’m doing but honestly this is so new to me and I really don’t know. It could be anything, even just one blade of grass a fraction of a degree in the wrong direction. And if I get this wrong, I don’t know if my boss will ever trust me again.”

Eleanor looked down at the ground, clearly attempting to conceal her lying face, and said, “Hey, look, buddy. No one died, right? We can’t die anyways! So nothing bad really happened. Everyone here is okay and we’re back to normal now!”

“That’s the problem, Eleanor!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know what caused it or why it went away. There’s no telling if it can happen again. And this is the good place. Everyone here deserved to be happy after living such meaningful lives.” He gently placed his hand over Eleanor’s and grabbed it, and said, “Especially you.” Then, he quickly pulled his hand away to wipe away a fake tear from his face.

Ooh, he knew that one would really eat her up inside. He knew how awful she was going to feel, making him feel responsible for something she believed was all her fault. Yes, this idea that he had was fantastic because he would get to be up close to all of her awful feelings, even if she was trying so hard to hide them.

“I’m okay though!” she said, hoping to cheer him up. “This is still my Good Place, so don’t beat yourself up, man. The alligator didn’t even touch me because Jianyu fought it away from me when it tried to bite me so everything is fine!”

“The alligator tried to come after you? Oh my goodness… no! I must get to the bottom of this! I need to figure out exactly what the problem in this neighborhood is. I can’t let anything hurt you or any other resident here. I must fix this issue!” he said confidently, hoping to inspire some anxiety in her.

“Hey, hey.. Well.. Let’s not worry right now okay? Let’s do something fun, yeah? Like maybe I could actually go flying now?” she said optimistically, still hoping for her chance.

In all of the reboots, he never once let her fly. Maybe someday he would, but he couldn’t let that happen today. “I’m sorry, Eleanor. But I’m afraid I’ll have to ban flying until I can ensure the safety of all our residents. Imagine if that weird Eagle would have hit them mid-air! No, no, it’s too dangerous today. That’s just one more reason I need to fix this as soon as possible.”

“Lets.. go on a date!” she said.

He was taken aback. He knew that she’d probably try to distract him with something fun, like arcade games or laser tag. But never had she proposed a date with him. Of course, this time was significantly different. He was supposed to be her soulmate, which is the entire purpose of this new reboot idea, and it was bound to happen sooner or later. But he just didn’t predict her asking him out on a formal date so soon. Not today, certainly. “A date?” he asked to clarify.

“Yes, a date. I mean, we’ve hardly had any time to actually get to know each other. We’re soulmates, right?” she asked, trying to convince him.

“Yes. But not all soulmate relationships are romantic,” he said. “ Some are very strong friendships, some are like brotherly bonds.”

“Oh, dang. I didn’t mean to make this weird,” she said, taking a step back. “I uhhh.. It doesn’t have to be a date.” 

“No, if that’s what you want. We can go on a date. I just don’t want you to think that we have to go on dates. This relationship is whatever you want to make of it, and oh goodness… I hope I’m not making this weird. I would love to go on a date with you, I just didn’t want you to think that you had to. I just want whatever would make  _ you _ happy.”

He saw the absolute look of disorientation and embarrassment on her face. He’d be lying if he didn’t feel a little awkward himself. Obviously the whole push was for her to think they had to be in a romantic relationship, but something in him didn’t want to push her too far. Even demons had to have some standards. 

“Then, yes. Let’s go. On a date. You and me.”

So it really was happening. 543 reboots and now he was actually going on a date with Eleanor Shellstrop. The heartbeat of his flesh suit was racing and he couldn’t help but smile. He was apprehensive considering he'd never been on a date before. He would have to ask Janet a thousand questions before he went out. "Well what time where you thinking?"

"Ya know, there's no time like the present, am I right? Let's go now!"  
  
He was hoping for at least a little bit of time to prepare but he also knew that she wanted to distract him as soon as possible so he couldn't figure out it was her. And if he gave her too much time alone, she might wander off to find Chidi and grow closer to suspecting the truth about the nature of this place. Why was he so nervous for the time he so aggressively fought for with Vicky earlier? He wanted the time alone with Eleanor and now he had it, so why were his palms sweating? "Now? Like right now?" he asked, still anxious.

"Yes! It'll be fun, I promise!" she said with a big and honest smile. He knew that she meant it too. As scared as she was, the brilliant and joyful Eleanor Shellstrop would never turn down an opportunity for a good time and now he couldn’t help but imagine all of the wild adventures she’d try to drag him in in hopes of distracting him.

_ Who knows? _ He thought to himself,  _ Her distractions might actually work. _

“So,” he asked, “what did you have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooohhhh a DaAaAaTe? lol
> 
> I can't promise when I will update again. I will try as soon as I can but honestly I am a grown adult and have many things to do so I make no promises. But I do have a lot of fun when I write and when I am inspired so hopefully I will encourage myself to write more :) please leave a comment if you want to see more. Those comments always always always brighten my day and encourage me to actually return to the story. I love all of you so much and am praying for you health and safety during these crazy-ash times <3 take care


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